so, i’ve been doing these bits at the end of an occasional entry about people that i feel we should weed out of the herd just to help papa evolution out, right? all in good fun…but this one is serious. and we’ve ALL seen these people out there…

i work with a guy named randy who talks about how if he was younger (he’s in his late forties) he’d be able to work till all hours of the night, sleep an hour, and pull a full day. well, i’m quite a bit younger, and i don’t even like to do that…but i will TOTALLY admit i used to stay out later, and sleep later, and be okay. the problem is, these days i don’t stay in bed till all hours of the afternoon to catch up from an all-nighter (unless i’m not alone, of course) but otherwise i think i can still hang like i did in my twenties and teens…and i’m thirty-one. my only issue is trying to convert that four a.m. bedtime back to midnight or so come sunday night…THAT’S the challenge.

well, i bet kids have an even TOUGHER time of it…when i was a kid, i could NEVER get to sleep early. just wasn’t my style, which is probably what helped breed some of my late-night jobs later in my adolescence. but what the fuck is up with this trend i’ve seen of parents dragging out young kids at all hours? how many times have you been to a ten something movie and someone’s got kids there? or a midnighter and there are kids around? what the FUCK? you notice how movies like “the country bears” and “monsters, inc” don’t show after 8:00? ya know WHY? because you don’t need to bring your FUCKING KIDS to the theater when the rest of us are trying to enjoy a shreak-free comedy (i.e. no ear-drum-piercings courtesy of that dog whistle your two year old calls a throat) i’m not saying don’t take them out, or to the movies…i went to TONS as a kid. they were called matinees. you walk out, and it’s still DAYLIGHT. nothing wrong with that…

the worst one i EVER saw was the woman that brought her two “under tens” to a 10:30 showing of SOUTH PARK. what? me and jim had FUN with her…we kept asking, out loud, before the movie…”what the FUCK? why the FUCK would this FUCKING woman bring her FUCKING kids in the middle of the FUCKING night to this FUCKING movie? makes no FUCKING sense…” she turned around and through us an evil look…i just looked her dead in the eye, said, “we’re NOTHING compared to what’s about to come off that screen…” and then the lights faded.

she didn’t even last fifteen minutes.

so, flash forward to my way home from SA on saturday night (technically sunday morning, actually). the location? wal-mart super center, san marcos, texas. the time? TWO-THIRTY IN THE MORNING ON A SUNDAY. i walk out with a twenty pound sack of iams large breed (a one week supply in this house) and i see a woman with a kid i figure was six or seven (picture the MAX sized/aged kid that can sit in the kid carrier of a shopping cart but can load/unload themselves) and is dozing off as his mom loads the SUV. she then turns to him and says, “WELL?!?!? aren’t you gonna get out? weren’t you just whining about how you were TIRED and wanted to go HOME? so, get in the truck!!!”

where’s a taser when you need one?

so, now you wanna know why they can’t wake up on monday and why they can’t do well in school? they have NO sleep structure, no rest, and now color outside the lines…a SURE sign early on that NO college will accept them. and all cause you just HAD to make that wal-mart run at a time you knew you would have no crowds…good to sacrifice the kids future in the name of shorter check-out lines. next time, just point at the brain-dead yutz ringing up your fifteen pound box of chocolate-covered whatevers for the kid and say, “that might, if you’re LUCKY, be you in a few more years…” and then go get yourselves fixed.

i’m not being too harsh on this one, am i?

Replies: 5 Comments

There’s really no hope for the future, is there?
A few years back, I had a standing Friday night movie date (as you well know) and one night, we decided to go see 8MM (I always HAVE had that Nicholas Cage thing). So, it’s, like, a 10:30 show. And if you’ve ever seen the movie, you know it ain’t meant for kids. I was 25 – I might have been too young to see it. The hyper-graphic, gutted, crucified Joaquin Phoenix was my favorite part. What do you expect from a movie about a snuff filmmaker? We’re walking out of the theater, both of us mid- to late-20s, both of us disturbed by what we’ve just seen. But that didn’t come close to how disturbed we were when we saw the family of four walking out behind us (the two kids couldn’t have been more than four and six). Both of the kids were wide awake, and likely haven’t slept since. Now, I’ll be the first to jump up and say that I’m not a parent, and I don’t know shit, but if that’s how people behave with their little kids, no wonder we have so many fucked up teens running around-and I imagine they’re only going to get worse.

kathi said @ 10/11/2002 12:13 AM GMT

Damn shame you can’t carry around a hypo full of DepoProvera… inject freaks at will.

Jennifer said @ 10/08/2002 03:28 AM GMT

It’s always fun to read the first ravings of someone moving into Old-Fart-ism. You’re right, and you’re not too harsh.

As a long time old fart, though, I’ve learned one thing for sure — there might have been circumstances beyond your perception that necessitated that trip to the Mart du Wal. Nothing excuses the harshness of the Mom’s tone, though.

Scott Chaffin said @ 10/08/2002 01:22 AM GMT

actually, the people who pull that crap probably don’t read, period.

the dork who writes this slop said @ 10/07/2002 02:40 PM GMT

you should send this one to all the local newspapers. But then again, the people who pull that crap probably don’t read the paper….

the redhead said @ 10/07/2002 11:34 AM GMT

so, friday it was all about sa for me. had system conversions to do. what i forgot about was that this was kind of a first…not me going to sa, of course; that seems to happen with more and more frequency. no, it was a combination of two new things melting together for the first time…our new machines (currently throughout most of the metroplex, but with our older software in them) and our new software (currently only in use at a stadium in oklafuckinhoma, and not on our newer hardware set up). of course, this fact occurred to me AFTER i was already there, but what can you do? all ended up pretty smooth in the end, and that’s what matters, right?

now the smoothness was pretty much all work. otherwise, i saw a lot of the “not-so-smooth” thing going. but at least i know how i can make a fortune. i do. because for all the mexican food restaurants and military bases and hot women and starbucks that the greater metropolitan san antonio area has, they seem to be lacking in one VERY crucial element…and i wanna help them out. know what they need?

DRIVING SCHOOLS….

baby, no bullshit. i was SHOCKED at this. i’ve driven through sa tons of times before with no issue. in rain AND shine and dark of night. but yesterday? fucking ridiculous. i saw (no bullshit) SIX multi-car wrecks in the time i was there…that’s three or more vehicles involved, folks. add in the ones with only two cars, and it steps it up to NINE. in ONE day. and that’s just the ones i saw. as witnessed by ONE guy. picture how bad it was city wide…and this was on a warm, dry day.

what the fuck do they do to issue a license in SA? take you outside to where you’re parked, point at the space…

“what’s that?”
“um…that’s a car?”
“GOOD!!! now point to the front of it…”
“um…here?”
“actually, that’s the roof. that would be the top. but since you didn’t point at the BACK of it, i’ll let it slide…you pass. here’s your license…and remember the three special rules about driving in sa…”
“which would be?”
“1. speed limits are just a suggestion, 2. test your brakes often and for NO reason…”
“and number three?”
“3. the guy trying to merge just said some evil shit about your mamma….are you gonna take that AND give up your lane? don’t go out like a bitch…”

and to think…i’m going BACK there tonight. and next wednesday. who wants to take over the page after i die?

Replies: 4 Comments

what? like i’d use my OWN car? hells no. one of your piercings might scratch it! besides…ever heard of a hit man?

…c’mon, i’d have thought you’d be MUCH better at this “plot & destroy” business…

elle said @ 10/14/2002 07:29 PM GMT

wait a minute…what are we saying? like that’s a car i could MISS in traffic or something. hell, i can practically see the thing from here…

sean (skeered) said @ 10/07/2002 08:56 PM GMT

hey, dude, if you need somebody to off him in s.a., i think i can help you out…for a cut of the royalties, of course. 😉

elle said @ 10/07/2002 04:01 PM GMT

It will be immortalized. We’ll do it up as a book and make millions. Of course, you have to get croaked in SA, first. Frankly, I don’t see that happening, but Mercury ain’t done with your butt yet. Ominous enough?

astrofishy said @ 10/06/2002 10:18 PM GMT

do any of y’all drive a newer toyota? i do now (but won’t after tomorrow) and kinda dig it, kinda don’t. the LAST rental i got for myself was this same year, make, and model…a 2003 toyota solara. on the last one, i was the first renter to drive it (this one has 11,000 miles on it and that was only a month ago, so i doubt this is the same car, although they are both “fuck me red”). when i got back, they asked if there were any off noises or what-not, since i WAS the first one to put it through it’s paces…

“you’ve got a little wind noise on the driver’s window, right next to the seat belt clip, ” i said. “really?”, leo, the enterprise manager replied, “how bad is it?” “pretty loud,” i retorted, “but it only pops up once you get it up over 110 mph, so i guess it’s no biggie”.

NOT something you tell them, apparently (judging off the look on his face). kinda like when i let the guy at the one downtown know that the explorer he gave me had a governor on it…he said, “i don’t think so…i never experienced that”. “i did,” i said…”but it cuts out at 105, so it’s all good”. confession might be good for the soul, but it sucks for keeping your rental rating cool.

here’s my only toyota issue: the keyless entry. see, the thing doesn’t honk. it doesn’t chirp. it BEEPS. it’s a two door, japanese sports coupe that sounds like a fucking microwave. of course, i wouldn’t have even known, except for when i was stuck in the rain the first time in SA, i got to digging through the glove box and found the remotes, so i put one on the keychain to help me with loading gear and such (last night – THREE complete pc systems in only two loads…not bad, eh?) and it signals locked, unlocked, etc, with a series of BEEPS. why do i find that annoying? i walk away from the car, hit a button on the remote, and suddenly think of hot popcorn.

how odd.

the panic button doesn’t beep, though…that sucker HONKS. loud. guess i shouldn’t have tested it in the origin parking garage when cracker-free mike was next to it, huh? (teenage flashbacks, boy? oh wait…you still ARE a teenager…) oh well…off to SA for the day in my fuck me red burrito burner…in a fuck me red shirt, no less…

yeah, yeah, yeah…i know. where the FUCK has all the whore stuff been. three days of shows and not a lot of sleep and not a lot of time and a cheap ass alarm clock have all worked against you people. but here’s a weekend breakdown, just to let you know what you’ve missed (if you care)…

FRIDAY –

show: better than ezra / cowboy mouth at stubb’s

who the fuck is that?: mellower version of pseudo alt-rock from new orleans. the type of guy “rock” band that gets played to break up the natalie / alanis / sheryl crow set list of radio stations with predominantly white, female listenership (sorry girls, but statistics don’t lie)

the crowd: see above. VERY visually appealing, for the most part.

lesson learned from the crowd: low jeans and tank tops look SO good on most women…but others? well…

co-worker: chris…keeping up the star tradition of hiring men that barely qualify to ride the rides of the amusement parks we ticket as far as height is concerned…nice guy, though.

m.f. charm hook-up: free bar-b-Q dinner

auto-erotic moment: none

why it sucked: schedule flip-flops and bad email servers and me being out of the office for two straight days equaled me finding out i had to be at stubb’s at 6:00 on friday evening at 5:44 on friday evening. and just when i thought it was safe to go to the gym and have a quiet evening at home…dopey me.

surprise: i actually like a few more better than ezra songs than i thought, and cowboy mouth knows how to work a crowd.

late night quest: one dollar bills. acquired at the yellow rose at 12:30 in the morning. it’s good to have friends in high places at strip clubs…for more than one reason, but never mind that now.
got to bed at: 4:30…loaded up on vicodin.

SATURDAY –

show: sound tribe sector 9 at la zona rosa

who the fuck is that?: techno music that for some reason hippy kids just LOVE…so you know how i felt about THESE people.

the crowd: see above. widespread flashbacks….please…someone…make the bad man stop. throw a speed stick in the middle of them and watch them scatter like it was a concussion grenade.

lesson learned from the crowd: lack of showering apparently does NOT equal lack of female affection if you can find the right female. think i’ll still stick with the showering…

co-worker: just me, myself, and i…damn i regret skipping that de la soul show.

m.f. charm hook-up: possible side gig with the string cheese incident. don’t ask.

auto-erotic moment: the $64,000 clown car. picture this: a black, loaded, BMW x5 SUV pulls up in front of the club. out of the passenger seat jumps TWO of the newer, daddy-sponsored hippy kids. then the two back doors open and out piles six more. the first out of the passenger side rear pops the back cargo door and out come another twelve. it was like neiman marcus got ass-raped by barnum & bailey. i REALLY need to start drinking on the clock.

why it sucked: the promoter i was dealing with was part of the tribe doing a.c.l. (which i got SCOLDED for not working earlier in the evening) and therefore was doing ALL their shows that night while the rest of the crew was as zilker. i was told to be ready to rock at 1:45…but she wasn’t there, so i had to wait. FINALLY got to bail at damn near 3:00 am. NOT cool.

surprise: i am CONSTANTLY amazed by the professionalism of hippy-band managers. nobody runs a tighter ship then them…it’s almost like the more bohemian the audience, the more professional the people that entertain them. suppose it’s a balancing thing.

late night quest: caffeine for the next morning. ah, rock star…you taste like crap, but work like liquid meth. bless you.

got to bed: 4:30 again…and had to actually get up by 10:00 on sunday. sucks to be me, huh?

SUNDAY –

show: nickelback at sunken gardens in sa.

who the fuck is that?: you know at LEAST two of their songs if you’ve listened to something on the radio other than tejano and country in the last year…if all else fails, think of that song from spiderman that got TOO much video play and you’re halfway there.

the crowd: the typical sa rock crowd peppered with plenty of hot young women and somewhat scary older ones.

lesson learned from the crowd: the only thing uglier than a bad tattoo is a BIG bad tattoo. add to that it being on an ugly person (or a BIG ugly person and…well…scary to say the least).

co-worker: junior. just doesn’t get more fun than working with junior…even if enough basic mistakes creep in to keep me NOT wondering why i named him that. but hey, at least it wasn’t HIM that made a $15,000 error. THAT would be me. oops.

m.f. charm hook-up: free food, free booze, etc, etc…all standard at a show with bill & megan & me. just its own little family, and i’m one of the bastard stepchildren. wouldn’t have it any other way, either…

auto-erotic moment: okay. for the ladies. let me know. does a de lorean still have any pussy pull? at all? honestly? bet that goes down EXPONENTIALLY when it’s pulled behind and rv, huh? that’s what i saw on the way to sa. what’s the point? you go out, and if you DO get a woman in the de lorean, what type do you get? do you blare jan hammer’s miami vice theme as you drive up like that guy in the wedding singer? got stubble? so did george michael, and he tried to suck cock in public toilets in la…what does THAT say about you? and then the rv as your residence? does it make a man look like he retired early and is seeing the country or more like trailer trash with such a fear of commitment he won’t even get a blockable trailer? i bet the delorean p-factor is nulled by the rv, isn’t it? or has it been gone since ’89?

why it sucked: another day of sweating like a farm animal and swatting gnats of my face like an ethiopian in a sally struthers infomercial. but at least i’m under six feet tall…junior has to cock his neck at a funky angle to stand at the counter and therefore has probably caused himself permanent spinal damage. again. don’t even get him STARTED about the judas priest show.

surprise: i don’t get along with beer, but i REALLY get along with beer girls. oh wait…i guess that’s not that surprising, huh? the ones in sa are a LOT hotter than the ones in austin, though. friendlier, too. like that cute lil’ latina that was in the skyy blue sports bra and shorts with the blue wig? don’t get me started…making me thirsty. along with other cravings. let’s change the subject…

late night quest: food. attained. not NEARLY as much variety in sa as there is in austin for post-eleven dining on a sunday, though…

got to bed: 3:00…wha-hoo!!! earlier than the others. but i also had to get up earlier. all in all, it DOES beat the hell out of having a REAL job, though…

i’m not like most people (go ahead…have fun with that one). MOST of my readers got off work at 5:00 on friday and got back at 9:00 on monday. in that time span i worked twenty-seven hours between three shows and two area codes. i haven’t been to sleep before 3:00 am in the last three nights. and to make matters worse, i did a quick entry yesterday explaining what all was going on with the weekend and why nothing had posted really in the last few days, and it, like my thursday one, just disappeared…leaving me to wonder yet again, what the FUCK? so, i’m now running thirty minutes late to go in two hours late for work, and therefore don’t really have the time…again. tonight i’ll write you the koran…deal?

Replies: 1 Comment

this time I didn’t see the other one….. don’t blame ME for pawning it.

sinD said @ 09/30/2002 03:49 PM GMT

so, i DID do an entry for thursday.
[continue reading…]

i was in the shower this morning (some of you might not want to visualize on that one) when it happened…and it WASN’T pretty.

“i am the voice inside your head (and i control you)”

that’s a line out of the nine inch nails song, mr. self destruct. but that wasn’t the song that was stuck in my head. oh no, no, no…this was same genre, even from the same era played on the same alternative radio stations. but NOT as cool a song. not from a band that still fills stadiums. or even clubs. hell, i doubt they’re ever still together, let alone tour. the band in question is the presidents of the united states of america. and the song is “peaches”.

“millions of peaches…peaches for me. millions of peaches. peaches for free. LOOK OUT!!!”

FUCK!!!

why is it that the LAMEST fucking songs are the ones that wander into our skull and think, “i believe i’ll set up camp HERE”. damn, that sucks. it’s never koRn or hendrix (unless, i supposed, you don’t LIKE koRn or hendrix; then that’s probably what you’re stuck with). and what was worse was when i THOUGHT i had found my kindred spirit for the day. someone who shared my pain (well, at least THIS pain). someone who could relate. i had gone out to the backyard and was in the office of one of the promoters and she said, “you know…ever since this morning i have had the most ANNOYING song stuck in my head….” “YES!!!!”, i practically screamed. “me, too. the president’s damn “peaches” song. what’s yours?” she said she didn’t remember. but then, like SO many a female before her (and undoubtedly countless ones after) she had to make the pain WORSE and say, “well at least it wasn’t that ‘lump’ song. you know the one *she begins to sing* ‘she’s lump…she’s lump…she’s in my head’. so, it could be worse, right?” yeah, sally. could, and now IS. thanks to you. the whole rest of the damn afternoon…”she’s lump…she’s lump…..”

AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

just like that damn vh1 show, one hit wonders….”get them stuck in your head all over again” is their slogan. but the one’s that tend to REALLY get stuck in our head always have five things in common:

1. it’s never a song or an artist you like or would even own.
2. it’s always something you had to hear on the radio WAY too much, proving my pseudo-chosen profession (at least what my degree is in) is one evil-assed job.
3. the only thing that gets rid of it is hearing the track IN IT’S ENTIRETY. or drugs or booze.
4. you can never remember more than about 45% of the words.
5. the hidden blessing: the same one never seems to get stuck twice.

then i come home, try to relax, and see something on tv that hopefully WILL get stuck in my head…the sight of a VERY trashed anna nicole smith in a crop top and stretch pants stumbling through las vegas shopping, drinking, and partying at a strip club. why? ’cause if THAT doesn’t inspire you to lose weight and get fit and workout NOTHING will. you KNOW it’s ugly when it’s surrounded by blonde, tanned, vegas-stripping ass and you STILL can’t bare to look. so now, it’s time to get personal.

anna, given the fact that my site contains some key words in the url that i KNOW your people must google search for often (like “whore”, “texas”, and “white trash”) i’ll trust SOMEBODY in your camp reads this at least occasionally. so i have a message from you. from one loud-mouthed texan to another. and it’s a quote from animal house (slightly paraphrased for you) that i feel you REALLY need to hear:

(and most of you already know what you’re about to read, don’t you?)

“fat, drunk, and stupid is NO way to go through life, dear…”

there. does that count as community service?

…and a few of you still need to throw a vote down on the pube poll 2k2. i’ll be running it till oct 1st, then we’ll tally. assuming there’s more than a few of you out there, of course.

Replies: 1 Comment

“that’s why it’s easy….easy like sunday morning”

you’re the bastard that made me download that song!

josh said @ 09/25/2002 04:55 AM GMT

“out on the road today i saw a deadhead sticker on a cadillac; a little voice inside my head said, ‘damn, i HATE old people with shitty-ass taste in music'” – me, NOT don henley, first weekend of fall, 2k2

i think sunday i hit an all time low. not in perversion (that has yet to happen, and we won’t go into that now) and not in allowing my humor to sink on the low-brow level (’cause i know i have YET to hit bottom on that one yet, too). no, this was an all time low in something we ALL have an “all-time” low story on.

restaurant service.

okay, i suppose that the chinese place that used to be in the building i was looking at from the table on the grin’s deck would be THE all-time low. that was the place where the waitress took our drink order, went in the kitchen to get it, got in a fight with management, and walked. without EVER bringing us our drinks (melanie, a girl at our table, finally went and retrieved them out of the kitchen without anyone in the staff batting an eye) and then we sat for THIRTY MINUTES before a manager noticed a group of TEN people in the middle of the dining area with NO food. she came up, told us our waitress had been “let go”, took our order, and we had food within minutes. we were then charged FULL PRICE. needless to say, these folks aren’t around any more.

typically, i like grin’s. good food, good people. been around a while, and it always brings back fond memories of past dining experiences there going back to college for me. but yesterday? WHOLE different story. i knew something would be up when we showed up and were told there would be a wait of about ten minutes, even though we had already waited about five for them to tell us AND we could clearly see that the joint was only about half full. it was more like fifteen for the patio, and on a day like yesterday, i was NOT gonna eat indoors. we finally get seated, get our drink order in immediately, and then get our drinks…but not the chips and queso we ordered. that took QUITE a while. and our waitress kept coming out on the patio and doing that “look around and make sure everyone’s cool” glance WITHOUT glancing our way OR bringing us our chips and queso.

when it FINALLY arrived (must have been made out of some rare, imported cheese they were waiting to clear customs) our order was placed and we sat. a while. a LONG while. don’t get me wrong, this provides ample conversation time, which i am all about. but i was also REALLY fucking hungry. seventeen days later, when the entrees hit the table (after MUCH tree shrapnel preceded it, i might add, but so it goes in the great outdoors) the chicken chipolte came with NO silverware and the burger and fries combo came with NO fries. this was pointed out, and fries were brought out five minutes later with ketchup, and STILL no silverware. “need anything else?”, we were asked, so we repeated our original request with a blank look across our waitresses face like she had NEVER heard of that before. we ate, we left.

she is blonde. she wears flip-flops to work. her name is kay. avoid her like the plague, unless you have a LOT of time on your hands. my bill was $22.65. i paid an even $23. and i STILL feel like i over-tipped.

before any of you who waitress on occasion (sin D, i’m looking in your direction) jump down my throat, realize this was SO bad, with SO few people in her section that i almost feel like there should be a 15% BAD service standard, where if it really sucks you pay NO tip and get 15% DEDUCTED off the bill. i understand that waitstaff gets paid pure shit, and that tips make or break you…literally. i also understand that some places won’t even pay you the $2.83 base salary if your tips hit minimum wage on a per hour basis. but i also feel that a tip is SOMEWHAT earned. hell, on the other end, i’ve tipped forty or fifty percent when the service kicks ass, so it all balances. i just don’t feel a gratuity is required, but maybe that’s just me. you get what you pay for in this world, but tipping is your one oppurunity to pay for what you get. or NOT pay for what you DON’T get.

then it was off for drinks with kramer after driving into austin for a mini (one hour) work day. and then THIS happens…

i’m sitting there telling a joke to kramer (go figure). mid-way through, my comedic timing is SLAUGHTERED by the intrusion of a ringing cell phone. i pick up the phone, and without even glancing at the caller i.d. say, “motherfucker i’m in the middle of a joke you just screwed up so make this REALLY good…” “who is this?”, i hear in reply. “who is this?!?”, i repeat back, “i didn’t call YOU, dumb-ass, don’t call and ask me that. i was mid-joke. i’m out with my buddy. i’m having some drinks, having some laughs, and you electronically intrude just to ask me who the fuck i am? who the fuck are you? who the fuck do you THINK i am?” “i’m charles, ” the voice on the other end says, “and i was looking for my wife, mary…did i dial the wrong number or something?” i look at the table next to me to see one SERIOUSLY pissed off older blonde woman holding out her hand, and it suddenly occurs to me that i left MY phone in the car since i hate phones going off in restaurants. i hand her her phone i snatched off her near-by table without thinking and turn back towards kramer. “think this gonna be my last round for the evening” i say, with k-mad, the waitress, and “mary” in full agreement. and to think, it’s not even MONDAY yet…

oh yeah, and don’t forget to toss your vote in on pube poll 2k2.

Replies: 4 Comments

i have the chicken dance song stuck in my head. tip me.

??? said @ 09/24/2002 07:28 PM GMT

Hell if you do 40-50% tips on good service I might just go back to Olive Garden after all 🙂 We only get $2.15 an hour base pay though so let me know where they get @.85 so I can make more while I wait for you to show up

Angel said @ 09/24/2002 05:18 AM GMT

Did I tell you that we changed our uniforms at the restaurant? Tips come easy to me now. All I have to do is lean over a table of men and my money is made for the night!

Service, schmervice: Cleavage is the ticket!

sin D said @ 09/23/2002 06:17 PM GMT

Hell yeah, tips are earned. Always. Shitty service = no tip, no repeat business. simple as that.

topenga said @ 09/23/2002 03:48 PM GMT

so, how do you like the hair down there? i wanna know what my readers think on this (and to prove to myself i actually have more than three or four). rate your preferred level of bushiness, 1 to 10…1 being bald as dr. evil’s pet kitty, 10 being hairier than fat bastard’s back…and let me know if you mean it for guys or girls…vote for both, if you so choose…i just wanna get an average here. plan on running this till the end of the month, so vote away!

Replies: 4 Comments

4 or less for girls, don’t do guys….

fem said @ 09/28/2002 02:46 AM GMT

Mare and i were gonna respond but not after dreadkramer…phhhhttttt

Linda leaving Alaska said @ 09/25/2002 03:25 AM GMT

On my guys I like it to be in between..not too much..but not bald..so a 5 for guys..and my girls..I like it bald..so a 1 for my girls..

The Horny Ladybug said @ 09/24/2002 06:51 AM GMT

Dreads baby. Should hang down to their knees. that would be 10 for the girls.

Just call me “Mr. Natural”

dread Kramer said @ 09/23/2002 02:35 PM GMT

so, here was the deal…after a stressful week, with plenty of technical nightmares at work, and sleep problems due to dental issues and mental issues and basically as many different kinds of issues as one would find in the periodicals rack of a barnes & noble, i needed some relief. and the best kind of relief comes in one of three ways for me:
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