i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again…
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this is how we’ll post some archive stuff from time to time…
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every now and again things happen in my life that are a little, shall we say, odd…
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being as that it’s st. patrick’s day, and in a perfect world i’d be too drunk to type, i figured it was okay to be entry free today…
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so, you’re probably noticing things are kinda off here…
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by sean ~ March 4th, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized.

if someone can come up with a better title then this, let me know…

…’cause i’m stumped.

so, i was getting ready for some people to come over and fix my a/c yesterday (don’t get me started – pray it’s working) when i got a text from a friend who was at her son’s basketball game and just wanted to say, “hi”.

(obviously the entertainment factor of watching your own kid shoot hoops is fading when you’re texting random guys, right?)

my natural reaction was to fire back with, “cool – is he winning?”. that was when i got the shocker of a lifetime:
“nobody’s winning – they don’t keep score…”
what the fuck?!?!?
i had to fire back, “if they don’t keep score, how is this a game exactly? sounds like a practice, but maybe with jerseys – so more like a “dress rehearsal”. how do you know who wins?”
she replied, “everybody gets to win this way…”
now there’s a good metaphor for life…”everybody wins”. that’s reality. and we wonder why we have a generation of fuckshits that think the world owes them something. they can’t point out iraq on a globe (where some of their classmates will eventually lose their lives for no fucking reason) but they can tell you who the last four guys britney fucked are…

…and due to the drugs i don’t think even she could pull that off.

so if my generations was “generation x”, and the one after it “generation y”, i call the latest incarnation “generation p” where the “p” stands for “PUSSY”. not as in what they’re getting, put what they are. everybody gets a trophy or a medal or a ribbon? what happens when they get out into the real world? will everybody get a good job? a nice house? a promotion? yeah, wait till that kicks in…then we’ll see what you actually raised – a whiny bunch of “that’s not fair!” screaming pains in the ass…

…and then my generation will have to shoot them. lock and load!

2021 note – this is a thirteen and half year old bit and it’s scary how spot on it was. talk about some entitled bullshit – i feel we might need to re-define that whole “trigger word” phrase to fit what i wrote!

this has been a constant debate for me lately…
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maybe i’m getting older?

no, that can’t be it.

or so i shall convince myself.

i’m about to go to the mall to go returning. exchanging, to be honest. no money will exchange hands, but I have a gift that didn’t fit and while the giver of said item would prefer i went with her and we participate in this process together, she’s out of town on business this week and i refuse to go the mall on weekends anymore. i ran there last saturday and could have easily been convicted of manslaughter (and remember – you can’t spell “manslaughter” without “laughter”) with the aggravation of the experience. i think, going forward, i’m going to have to boycott shopping malls on weekends regardless of what the hell i may THINK i need. work’s been sucking, money is drying up, so it’s probably all for the best, anyway…but here’s my six pack of reasons why:

1. you shouldn’t need a sherpa guide to get from your car to the door – honestly. i think my car was actually in a separate voting district then the entrance i used. hell, at least i found it easily when i left (one of you knows i’m aiming that one in their direction).

2. pick up the pace! – ME and i have discussed this. while we’re all about the leisurely shopping experience, even a stoned pill popper listening to radiohead on his ipod knows there’s such a thing as TOO leisurely a pace. i encountered it with both young AND old people. and they always walk at a crawling pace, three or four across, so you can’t pass. what kind of conspiracy is this?

3. number three was redeemed at the food court for half off a pretzel

4. help me – psyche! – what i never realized, and perhaps i sucked at this when i worked retail, is that customer service requires a certain balance in the mall, and no place i went had it. i was either constantly assaulted by sales people asking if they could help me (we know where the commission sales people are, i guess) or i would be in the store for fifteen minutes and nobody would notice. i learned lobbing merchandise at them gets their attention. doesn’t make them happy, but it does get you attention. shit, if you’re gonna act like chimps in the zoo and just stand there, be glad i didn’t throw what **they** throw…

5. i must be the happy medium – i’m gonna watch for this, but i swear no people my age go to the mall anymore. it’s either teenagers (who could very easily be twenty-three…i’m getting to be a pretty shitty judge of this) or people that are old enough to be my dad’s older brother. in between? my age? i guess they’re all too busy raising kids or hung over (or both, in the case of some of my peer group) to bother. that’s what target’s for!

6. free at last! – i guess it’s a bad sign when your favorite part of a shopping excursion is when you see your car in the parking lot on the way back to it (and again, one of you had this experience quadrupled since you looked over an hour for it…you KNOW who you are. but never mind that now…). granted, i was in a rush and was trying to meet a timeline (which i missed by five minutes, but what can you do?) but i used to shop like a chick (and kinda dig it) and clearly economics and past girlfriends have ruined that part of me…

…or perhaps the other one finally dropped. next thing you know i’ll want to go hunting.

every now and again i understand how the criminal mind works…
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once in a great while i do something incredibly stupid that DOESN’T involve a woman…

…and this was a biggie.

i had plenty of errands to run and my car looked like crap. those two are completely unrelated, but accurate. i wondered if the car wash was even open, seeing as how it had been pretty chilly. but they were open.

and slammed.

i ended up number six in one of the two lines. i got my ticket and headed out with ninety minutes to kill – i went to blockbuster to look at previewed dvds and then realized i had dropped the car at 3:30, and the cigar joint closes at 5:00. no way i could make it by car, and it was a pretty day – low sixties, and sunny.

i decided to walk it.

it’s about a mile to a mile and half hike, and i wandered over, got my smokes, and began the trek back. on the way back i was on the phone with a friend telling her the story when she asked if my car would be ready when i got back – i said, “sure – let me check the receipt…it’s time stamped.” i start digging and that’s when it hit me – right as i said…

“hold up – it’s right here, but it’s tangled up in my keys…”

my keys – if you didn’t read that.

i called them – and started the call with, “hi, i’m an idiot…” the response on the other end of the line?

“you drive the green camaro convertible, don’t you?”

yeah, that would be me.

and it turns out this happens there at least once a week; where some idiot (in this case, me) leaves his (or her) car in line and takes off with the keys. they told me typically the person does it after they pull their car up close, ultimately shutting down half the wash until they come back. so at least i didn’t do that. when i walked up and handed my keys over they said they had good news and bad news…

…the good news? they weren’t gonna charge me for storing my car.

the bad? it would now be ANOTHER hour before my car was ready. i was gonna bail ’cause i had tons of shit to do, but after blocking half their lane (at least back enough to where people could get around me, but we’ll go into that in a sec) i figured i owed them, so i got the ultimate wash (to the tune of $27).

they said they used my car as an i.q. test – they would time people to see how long it took after they got in line behind me and when they realized the car was empty and they needed to go around.

that’s kinda funny.

so, i got my car (after waiting out the hour with logan’s dinner) and headed out to harlold’s (house – studio still m.i.a. for now) and then shane’s (where i’m finishing this up).

booze time…ufc time…holler at ya later.

everyone have a great 2k8! next entry will be next year – at some point.

2020 note – this is now the washtub in san marcos, where i have a membership and get black betty washed weekly. and i put my fob in the center console before i even turn on the fuck street they’re located on!