mall punk fun (a throwback)

caught the good charlotte show on monday night…

would have written about it yesterday, but that was veteran’s day, so all city offices were closed, and with me not having the w-w-w thang happening at home, i had no net access…

these things happen.

so, i started chiseling away at the book, did some reading, some laundry, etc…but i’m getting way off the point here…where was i? oh yeah…the (not so) good charlotte show…

good charlotte is fourteen year old kids version of punk. they’ve got tattoos. they’ve got piercings. they wear a lot of black.

(so far this also describes me, and i don’t consider myself a punk…)

but considering all the bannering done at the show was from all the clear-channel fed top 40 stations (in the industry they’re called “CHR”, or Contemporary Hits Radio…outside the industry they’re just called “shit”) these kids were far from punk.

and kids they were…

it was the first time a girl, who was kinda cute, came up to the box office to get her tickets. while she was cute, i could tell she was TOO fucking young. or too young to fuck, as the case may be…and this was even by KRAMER’S standards. (she was MAYBE sixteen). when she found out she needed the credit card the tickets were purchased with to pick up her will call, she returned with the card AND the card holder. her mom. who was only a YEAR older than me.

ouch. welcome to kramer’s (and i guess now my) world.

so, that’s one disturbing thang…but where are the other five quirky bits to make it a (not so) good charlotte sixer? funny you should ask…

(okay, so you didn’t ask…or aks…but it was a damn fine lead in none the less…)

1. even the songs i recognized off the radio still sucked live. i like their energy, but…um…no. remember, before i saw SOAD, i didn’t own any of their stuff…but a good live show can win me over. now i have every cd. at least opener eve 6 was honest and labeled their bass drum with “eve sux”.

2. the bartender’s tip jars were covered in cobwebs…and they weren’t leftover halloween decorations. guess that’s what happens when the median age of your crowd is fifteen. at least i had no line, right?

3. most of the girls on the guest list were below eighteen as well. can someone please discuss local laws with these guys? believe it or not, “old enough to pee, old enough for me…” or “if there’s grass on the field, play ball” will NOT hold up in court. although they might in Texas…we let hurst go.

2026 note – i left that line in but i honestly can’t recall what it means…

4. when i had to hit the head (rampant water drinking after the pre-show workout will do that to a guy) i noticed a kid, maybe around ten, blonde hair, thin as a rail, clad all in black, putting on his EYE SHADOW in the mirror of the men’s room. i walked up behind him, put my hand on his shoulder (he was so thin my pinky was at his jugular and my thumb was on his bicep) and said, “you get your ass kicked at school often for doing this type of thing, don’t ya boy?”. he looked up in the mirror, saw the big bald guy that ECLIPSED him easily, swallowed hard, and whispered, “yeah…”. i cracked a big smile and said, “enjoy your evening being yourself then!!!” i think he pissed himself.

and finally…

5. i head up to the v.i.p. balcony. i am NOT alone. my company is one of the oldest girls up on the packed balcony, and she’s EIGHTEEN. she looked around, looked at me, brushed her main of spiral-curled hair out of her eyes and said, “i feel OLD up here…”. yeah, chica, imagine how it feels to be me…

even better, imagine if that crowd met the crowd i deal with on friday…that’s when SLAYER comes to town…

OH YEAH…

(this was added after i originally posted…but only two minutes after…)

the DUMB-ASS of the night award….

so, this guy goes up to the door, gets searched, and they find a film canister with half a joint in it. the security looks over his shoulder at the police officer about eight feet away, looks back at the kid, smiles and says, “we can’t allow this in here, man…” and then tosses the roach (it’s in a little baggie) in the trash can. the guy steps past security and waits for his girl to come through the girl’s line. when she does, he spins around, walks the six feet BACK to the trash can, grabs his roach, and tries to walk in (figuring he’s safe ’cause the security guy who popped him is now “busy” searching someone else. busy, yes. blind, NO.) the security guy sprints through the door and drags the guy back outside (he was half way up the ramp and in when he got grabbed). needless to say, this got the attention of the actual cops that were there, which made him look all the dumber when he came out, told the security guard, “my bad”, and proceeded to pitch the weed in the trash can RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COPS so he could go back in. at least, he THOUGHT he could go back in.

apd had a different plan.

Replies: 2 Comments

click here for contact info for sharp things…

sean said @ 11/13/2003 10:45 AM CST

does the term “stoned stupid” apply? oh yeah, fyi today sharp things has been open 3 years!so anyone interested in good ink (and lives in the san marcos/austin/s.a./lockhart area) stop by and say hello.

shane said @ 11/12/2003 01:57 PM CST