metal mania mon…um, friday (a flashback)

how this has never re-run, i’m not sure…

…because, not to sound egotistical, it’s a goodie (and twenty-one years old today):

08/18/2002: “seis, cubed”

so, first off, thanks to you for all reading after a twenty-four hour mom memorial silence that was part memorial, part writer’s block. but after ribs and booze with josh, preceded by driving all the way into austin JUST to set up a computer for late nate, who claims he’ll never be late again, but i think we ALL know where our money will go on THAT one (plus, he claims i’ve never, EVER mentioned him on here, which is a damn shame, ’cause he’s one hell of a nice guy, and a blast to hang out with, and work with, even if he IS allergic to punctuality), which was preceded by chinese food and target with kathi…but we’ll talk a bit about that later…

i just got done watching a re-run of the vh1 one hit wonders special, which this time was on 80’s metal, and i decided to do a re-run of my own. see, before i had astrowhore, i used to occasionally write “top ten lists” for kramer’s joke subscribers…and one i did was “top ten signs you’ve never outgrown your metal phase”. well, i’ve decided to re-do, with some additions and subtractions, and make it a list, in no particular order, of EIGHTEEN things. why eighteen? because 6+6+6 is eighteen…and 666 has to be in there somewhere, might as well be the theme…plus, after a day off, i owe y’all some reading material, right?

1. you learned html JUST so you could start your own poison fan club website.

2. you not only got “o-z-z-y” tattooed on your knuckles by your buddy when you were fifteen, but turned around and paid $125 on your 30th birthday to have a professional tattoo artist “clean it up and make it look ‘bad-ass’ for you”.

3. you paid triple digits for your def leppard tickets from a scalper. for LAST YEAR’S tour.

4. when someone mentions watching “cinderella”, you think of a band and not a disney cartoon.

5. more than half your jewelry has skulls on it.

6. you’re over thirty, and you “get” marilyn manson.

7. you still own and wear a pair of those cowboy boots with the scrunchy, slouchy tops. with your jeans tucked in them, of course.

8. when you see a pentacle, you think of mötley crüe rather than wiccan or paganism.

9. you paid to have an iron maiden poster custom framed for your office at work.

10. you’ve dated someone who’s actually spent the night on ratt’s tour bus.

11. you’ve started bar fights over whether or not that guy from judas priest is REALLY gay.

12. you’re excited that you can soon order rob zombie checks.

13. you still regularly wear bandanas…but not on your head.

14. you still resent the brothers van halen for firing david lee roth, even though girls that were born the day it happened are now LEGAL AGE.

15. your wearing a slaughter “slave to the grind” tour shirt in your CURRENT drivers license photo.

16. you don’t know what a “mullet” is, even though you have one.

17. you own more than a half dozen leather undergarments that you have worn in public places.

18. you can remember enough about metal to write a list of eighteen things in under half an hour.

oops…busted myself on that last one, huh? that’s okay…three other ones fit me, too. but i’ll never tell which ones….

Replies: 1 Comment

Poison? Or Scorpions?

astrofishy said @ 08/19/2002 02:56 AM GMT

2023 NOTE – since it’s been twenty-one years, i’ll reveal the ones that fit me all the way – five, six, twelve, and of course, eighteen. of course, now, MOST of the people that “get” marilyn manson are over thirty. also, i kinda foul tipped on nine (it was an ozzy poster, not maiden, and it was in a shadow box with a signed microphone. it now hangs in my gallery hall at the house), and, sadly, ten – although we never “dated”, just kinda played around. i’m pretty sure i still have one book of unused rob zombie checks laying around here somewhere…

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