blood red and plum crazy purple

it’s not normal for me to have a day that easily hits the upper marks on my “weird shit o-meter”…

…and it’s even more odd for it all to occur before 10am on a sunday!

so, i was rolling into the shop around 9:30am or so and rolling up i-35 when i got passed by a mercedes. “that’s a cool shade of purple”, i thought at first, but then looked at the purple haze (not weed or hendrix related – literal purple haze from paint over spray) on the back window, that looked like they had just hand smeared it “clean”, and the side windows were the same.

you’ll notice the rims are fine. and they seem to have masked off the tail lights ’cause the purple is lined up clean as fuck on there. but the windows? fuck, we’ll just wipe those off with a shop towel – they’ll be fine!

sadly, the next (and weirder part) has no real photographic proof, but thanks to google i have a slight visual aid.

so, i pulled into the gas station across from the shop to grab a MexiCoke and as i did noticed a guy at another pump slowly, methodically, wrapping toilet paper around his hand. when i got out and started to walk in i saw he had his leg sticking out of the open door and it basically looked like a larger version of this:

it went a bit higher, wrapped a bit more, and unlike the pic wasn’t blurry but more in real-life high-definition clarity (you’re welcome for the pic being blurry). he was dabbing off the moisture in the wound with the toilet paper until it got to saturated, then added layers. i mouthed out “what daphuk?!?” as i walked closer to the door. only two steps into the store i could see the fridge where my beverage should be was empty, so i about faced and pulled out my phone to get a pic but he had shut the door. across his back window were two giant decals – one with the “LYFT” logo, and one with the “ÜBER” logo…

…and THAT is yet another reason i will never, ever, ever do ride share!

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