and then there were seven (a flashback)

ah, the final stages of the cow droppings…

…a brief explanation of that:

in january of 2008 i was issued a new check card from wells fargo, voiding my old one which had expired. in february my annual hosting bill came due, but because the card on file declined a couple times, my website at the time,, was pulled offline. when i caught this, i called, and settled up (it should be noted i had to be emailed by a reader it was down as i posted more sporadically back then and the hosting company, fat cow, never bothered to email me to tell me about the card declining they just “pulled down my site to get [my] attention”).

but then when they tried to restore the site with their backup files said files were corrupted and we lost everything ever written on the site from when kramer had started it (november of 2001, i took over in february of 2002) up to then, which was february of 2008. i still remember when and where i found out – driving my camaro, screaming at some canadian tech support guy (eh?) through a wired jabra headset, as i barrelled down i-35 to meet the girl i was dating at the time (cathey) at some wings restaurant she used to enjoy when she was at A&M and they now had one in pflugerville. i told her the site was done and so was i, but reader emails convinced me to keep going. i had already started trying to google things that would bring entries up in google cache while they were still out there and save them that way. i’m still going through the jump drive, to be honest – there’s about five hundred of the SEVENTEEN HUNDRED or so bits that were out there at the time on that drive, which in part doubles up on a disc kramer gave me right before a journal con in october of 2003 which has the entire site from start till then on it.

currently, if you look at the archive months, there are seven missing, which was eight before i found…

what does your rear end say about you?

by sean ~ November 20th, 2005. Filed under: Uncategorized.

ya know, it’s kinda sad…

…it truly is.

i commute so much, and do so little outside of work (due to the who financial situation i’m in lately and all) that i barely even get time to read these days. i blame kramer and ME for getting me started on the whole reading thing again when i was unemployed a couple of years ago, and i’ve been trying to hit it again ever since. i even re-read a seven novel series (the first pass through there were only four, and it took less than a month – this time there are seven and it took almost a year).

but thanks to that commute, you know what i do read a lot of?

bumper stickers.

i’ve been meaning to re-do mine lately.

for the longest i just had the cut and pasted waterloo records sticker i re-did to say “white trash” (which some of you may remember from the masthead of this site – and others may remember being embarrassed to ride in my car because of it). but now i just have an sticker (one of two, which are actually designed to look like waterloo stickers), a “what would ozzy do?” sticker (which was cooler when i bought it, since that was before him becoming the loveable dad on mtv), two mudflap girls, and an oakley “o”.

i’m thinking of going all the way down to just the “o”. or perhaps less than that.

i think i need all new stuff.

the main reason i have it all, truth be told, is not pimping this site, ozzy love, oakley love, or mudflap love (i don’t know what that last one meant, but it fit the theme). no, the reason is pretty simple – green malibus are common, and it helps me find it in parking lots.


but some bumper stickers say a lot about their drivers, i believe – although perhaps the people are just like me, trying to find their car amongst the mall driven masses. i originally started this bit to slam some of the more ridiculous ones –

“buzzed driving **is** drunk driving”

not to brag, but i’ve done both, and no, it’s not. the two are pretty far from similar, actually. but it does bespeak of a car owner you probably don’t want to party with, huh?

“my child is an honor student at…”

who the fuck cares. and the comeback?

“my kid beat up your honor student”

great. now they know who to press charges against. so, your kid’s a bully, and his is a geek. maybe one day his kid can hire your kid as security, or an enforcer if he goes the organized crime route. i want mine to be the entrepreneurial one –

“my kid sold the test answers to your honor student”

where’s that one? and why do we only have to be proud of the smarter kids? why can’t parents of special kids have some bragging rights?

“my kids more retarded than your kid”

2021 note – back in 2007 this word was still allowed in public and shit…

or does that go to far? how’s about…

“my kid can’t even spell ‘honor roll’…but he can play football. see your kid at ut, loser…”

much more realistic.

but enough about the children. i believe the children are the future – and that scares the shit out of me. let’s move on.

i suppose anybody’s bumper stickers COULD be there the same reason as mine – parking lot identification. but the one i saw the other day?

“got bagpipes?”

this was paired with a sticker indicating that he likes to ride a unicycle. wow – you ride a one wheeled bike AND play bagpipes? you must be beating off the pussy with a stick. let’s face it – this is just like anybody with stickers referring to star wars, star trek, or any other sci-fi reference…you basically are admitting that at some point, you jerked off to a woman in a comic book.

possibly more than once.

and for the sadder of you, that’s as far as the sex life has progressed.

i wonder how many readers i offended with that one…

…just claim it’s to find your car at the mall. i’ll stop. for now…

0 comments… add one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *