i could have been a motivational speaker (a flashback)

this one stands well with no introduction, really…

09/11/2002: “kathi turns twenty-five (again), and a nation mourns (no, the two are NOT related)”

we gathered yesterday with an agenda…to celebrate my “sister” kathi’s birthday and to get loaded. in that order. and mission was accomplished. i got there first, slapped my check card down with the waitress, and said, “anything she and i touch tonight goes on this card…it’s her birthday.” slowly, but surely, the crowd filed in ’till we graced the double digit marker (and some change). when the night came to a close some three hours or so later, the bill was brought up. since it was my card that had secured everything, and most were paying in cash, some with cards, i just said, “put in what you think you need to, have her total it all up, and put the rest on my card…i’m hitting the head”.

when i got back, all the money was gone, all the OTHER charge slips had been signed, and mine was sitting untouched. when i opened up the little folder, i saw my total. now keep in mind, kathi and i had ordered THREE different appetizers to get the ball rolling (total of $11 by happy hour prices) and another four rounds of drinks EACH (at $3 per…do the math…we’re now up to $35). my total “leftover” bill? WITH the 18% gratuity they already added in since we were a large group? $11. i through down another $20 towards the tip…she WAS good, and handled the birthday cake thing like a pro.

it was at this meeting that kramer approached me and asked how i was gonna “handle” today here on the whore. when i said, “what do you mean?”. he looked at me with this puzzled look in his eye like “you DO know what tomorrow’s date is, right?”. yes, i do. and we all have our reflections…of where we were that morning. what we thought. how it’s forever changed us. or something like that.

where was i? i was running late to work (i worked the mudvayne show at stubb’s the night before…it was acceptable). i was walking to our office (back when we were downtown) and was coincidentally wearing all black. hair was still long. and i was carrying (this is one of the reasons i stopped using these) one of our rather eye-catching, aluminum-trimmed show cases…and when i passed the j.j. “jake” pickle federal building, the mall outside was a sight….S.W.A.T. everywhere. federal marshals. but no by-standers. no “what the fuck” crowd. i decided i needed to start the “what the fuck” trend, and started to walk on the mall. this big, long-haired, scary looking guy wearing all black and dark glasses carrying a large metal case. in the eyes of the badge-carriers, not good. i had NO idea what had happened that morning.

all of a sudden people are pointing at me. people are getting on their radios. fast. i see all this and say (i think out loud) “FUCK THIS. i’ll just catch it on the news later”. and turned around. one of the marshals trailed me to the corner to make sure i left. two minutes later i walked through our office door, and saw it all on tv. THEN it made sense.

i found my patriotism and love for all this country represents a LOT more than a year ago. and the events of last september 11th didn’t re-awaken anything because nothing in my head was sleeping in the first place. i live my life by our basic guiding rights…that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. because at it’s MOST basic, that’s where we all NEED to be.

if your reading this, you’ve already got the first one down in my book…your breathing. (add to that “female” and your kramer’s type, but never mind that now). “liberty” i view as just having the right to basically “do what you got to do”, in the most ghetto of terms…and it’s best used when going for the perfect three. if you’re not happy, you’ll never be happy, until you make YOURSELF happy. it’s the one thing that nobody can truly do for you. others can INJECT happiness into your world, but it’s ultimately up to YOU to MAKE yourself happy. or at least relentlessly pursue it. and if you’re not happy in your life, and aren’t trying to do something about it, i feel for you…because if you’re doing it right, that’s all life needs to be…a constant pursuit of a new level of happiness. you have that right. it’s number two on the list, for crying out loud…and not everyone in the world gets to. that’s why a year ago, people tried to stop it. they couldn’t catch their own happiness, so they decided to try and stop everybody else’s…the whole “misery loves company” thing.

think of it like algebra.

a+b=c. life + freedom = right to be happy…and when others can’t achieve it, they have to bring you down to their level. they can’t climb up to your level, so they prefer to sit where they are and knock ground out from under you till you’re eye to eye again. don’t let ’em do it. go out, live your life, and be happy…or at least quest for what it takes to make you that way. if at the end of the day, you don’t feel better, or haven’t at least TRIED to feel better, you can only blame yourself. and kramer. of course, i blame him for EVERYTHING.

Replies: 3 Comments

Well done, my friend. Well done.

— chris

Chris said @ 09/13/2002 04:14 PM GMT

Well put…

I suppose this whole site is a testament to our beliefs and ideas. Its not in every country that you can express your thoughts in the way that you do. Some may say “AMEN to that, we wouldn’t have to read his ramblings” but in the basic sense of the idea, it all comes down to our choice to do it and not a mandate.

You have such a way with words.

the redhead said @ 09/11/2002 02:03 PM GMT

you’re seeing my speechless face again. you’re brilliant.

kathi said @ 09/11/2002 01:43 PM GMT

0 comments… add one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *