so this is bit actually went legal (i.e. turned eighteen) yesterday, not today…
…but it facinated me because the original bit, when i typed it, was somehow 75% in blue like it was a link, even though it didn’t point to anything until the very end (which i’ll explain with a note at the end). what’s odd is back then the software didn’t just have a “link” button like the current shit does – i had to type html code to make it do that. why did i? i have no idea…it was eighteen fucking years ago! but here’s the bit that made me wonder…
03/12/2002: “i got smarts”
okay, so when i was growing up, i was always told their were three kinds of intelligence…book smarts, street smarts, and common sense. i’ve typically gone two outta three for the most part (the latter two, in case you’re curious) sure, kramer can quote shakespeare, but i can quote the simpsons. and in reading his stuff (and coming up with mine), i think i’ve uncovered a fourth kind. a new dimension. pop-culture smarts.
it certainly ain’t book learning to put “DOH!” in the middle of your writings (although i have heard there’s a “DOH of the simpsons” book as a take off on taoism…i REALLY need that), and it doesn’t really fall into the realm of street smarts, and is pretty far from common sense. but it works, ya know?
like if i refer to the “acid washed era that was guns and roses hay day”, 99% of my readers KNOW what i mean. and no, despite the hair, piercings, and tattoos, i NEVER soiled my body with acid wash. don’t get me wrong, between pat magee’s surf shop, chess king, and oak tree, i had some serious jams-wearing, skinny leather tie, fucked up fashion moments (with my blonde bangs in tow), but NEVER did the acid washed thing. and every one of you got at least one (if not all) of those references.
it’s a lot like life, it’s played between the sheets…
yesterday i got so old, i fealt like i could die…
the reflex is a lonely child, just waiting by the park…
everytime i see you falling, i get down on my knees and pray….
how many of you went four for four? (depeche mode, the cure, duran duran, and new order, respectively) how many of you read those lines and now have at least one song stuck in your head that WASN’T there before?
didn’t get it out of a textbook.
won’t help you survive urban tampa, fl.
and it damn sure ain’t common sense.
it’s pop culture smarts. it’s the language of the common man. i now realize why i didn’t drink or smoke weed till later in life; it’s so my memories were clear enough to where my brain can regurgitate this shit so all of you can go, “oh hell; i remember that…how did he think to relate that bad late ’80s shit to today?” ’cause i’m a twisted little shit. with a mind like a steel trap. i’ve got street smarts; and book smarts (sorta); and common sense. but most of all, i’ve got a WEALTH of seemingly useless pop-culture knowledge that keeps all of you entertained. okay, so maybe that one’s second. MOST of all, i’ve got motherfucking charm. now y’all just have to keep my creative juices flowing…
(back then i had a “donate oral sex” button that was linked with that last line)