fabulous flashback friday

look how ahead of the curve i was!

“c” – none of the above
by sean ~ December 2nd, 2004. Filed under: Uncategorized.

what a bunch of gutless pussies…

let me approach this in two parts.

this will be my semi-drunken rant (i’m kinda buzzed, but not drunk) about the supreme court and gay marriage.

a year or so ago michigan decided to let gay folk enter into the bonds of wedlock. conservatives didn’t like this and bitched (go figure). it went all the way to the supreme court, who were asked to strike it down. they refused to hear the case and refused to comment.

in ghetto speak, this is the judicial equivalent of saying, “oh, we will so not go there”. instead of voting “a – yes” or “b – no” they voted “c – none of the above”. can they even do that?

part i – directed at the supreme court justices…

…as if they read the whore.

news flash folks – you guys (and girls) are appointed for LIFE. nobody has that kind of job security. ask anyone in the dot com / tech industry who doesn’t have the name dell or gates. you just never know. but you guys do. you can NOT be fired. you will NOT be fired. have an opinion. it’s kind of in your job description. hell, your predecessors took on the powder keg issue of abortion (and did so well, i might add…at least i approved of the decision). you can’t take on the “should adam be only with eve and not with steve” issue?

let me know when the other one drops and you have a full pair, okay?

it’s not like you can piss off the voters in your district and BAM you get to spend your time doing ribbon cuttings at the new starbucks. you got picked for a job with that kind of job security for a reason – people value your OPINION. on ALL the issues. especially the IMPORTANT ones.

**hint – gay marriage would be one such issue**

don’t be skeered. what are they going to do? fire you? they can’t – you weren’t hired. impeach you? you weren’t voted in. you were APPOINTED FOR LIFE. it’s like the herpes of the judicial world. the only way you can lose it is to DIE. be opinionated…it’s in the job description.

part ii – MY stance on gay marriage…

why the FUCK shouldn’t sigfried and roy have just as much of a right to happiness (or misery, as the case may be) as nick and jessica? they’ve already mastered style, culture, cooking, fashion, and the arts (okay, so maybe sigfreid and roy might be questionable on this one, but most of them rock at such things) – let’s let them take on a REAL challenge. they might think that the cohabitation they’ve had under the guise of being “room mates” or whatever in the past is the real deal. but let them try the REAL real deal for a change and see how they feel.

be careful what you wish for, girls…you just might get it.

hey – they can live the same work life as me, and have the same (if not better) social life as me. why not go home to the same home life as me?

(not that i’m married yet, but you get what i mean)

plus, it gives gay people an excuse to go to michigan – and lord knows they had NO excuse before now.

but through it all, i kept hearing an old comedic routine i once saw echoing through my head. it went something like this…

”you know the only cool thing i can see to being gay? picture it…you’re curled up with the hottest thing you’ve ever been with. you just had mind blowing sex. you’re laying in the after moment, and you whisper, ‘ you know…that was great. you will never know how much you mean to me. i would love nothing more than to marry you and be with you forever. but i **CAN’T** – it’s the **LAW!!!** so, good night!!!’”

but that could be changing, and i think nothing could be better. the only argument anyone has ever posed to me is that whole “it’s a holy union and god wouldn’t approve” bullshit – but we have separation of church and state in this country for a reason. make gay marriage legal nationwide today…but let’s drag out the vote on gay divorce for a while. they’ve wanted it for so long – let them see what they got themselves into for a while…

…and i bet they don’t even notice the lack of a divorce option. after all, they know what wine goes with what meat and cheese…they probably have some rules for this that we could learn from.

“queer eye for the single guy”, anyone?

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