i literally wrote this article

no i didn’t…

…to me “writing” is actual pen to paper. this was done with neither. i LITERALLY typed this article. on a wireless keyboard (thankS dell outlet). on a fuck-all huge desk made of arkansas walnut (thanks kramer). in the glow of a 40″ lcd tv that serves as the monitor in my office (thanks eBay).

but this isn’t about my office set-up. it’s literally about the generation coming up and their overuse of the word “literally”. i am not the first to tackle this topic…


in addition to numerous articles, tim dorsey’s brilliant character “serge storms” goes on an extensive rant about this in his new novel, clownfish blues out next january.



and what’s really sad is the millineal fucks have overused the word in pop culture SO fucking much that miriam-webster has actually caved and given it as the second definition of the word:


which to say “literal” also means the same as “figurative” is to say “down” means the same as “up” or “trump” means the same as “smart” or “wet” means the same as “dry”. it’s just not the way english works. this, folks is why a decade old mike judge flick would, if video stores still existed, be moved from the “COMEDY” section to the “DOCUMENTARY” section:


it’s literally what plants crave. may god have mercy on our souls.

1 comment… add one
  • Kramer Nov 30, 2016 @ 15:44

    I am literally without words.

    No, literally.

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