negative pills

let’s talk about pill poppin’…

…which i do on the daily.

that sounds bad, but it’s all pretty healthy shit. to keep my immune system up (and stave off pain from my genetically shitty teeth crumbling) i take four echinacea capsules a morning. i’ve also, since my wedding when i saw plenty of pictures of myself, started a CLA ritual of three capsules three times a day.

CLA is a fatty acid (technically a trans fat, actually) that occurs naturally and help control your body fat and even help develop musculature. if i stick to it pretty religiously i see these benefits, although not everybody does. i have found the best bang for my buck it to buy the HEB brand which runs me $13 for 90 capsules. the same bottle is about double that amount from GNC.

but the last several bottles have left me wanting more…literally.

i am not a positive person, i’ve realized. i should be. while i’m not wealthy, i’m comfortable. i don’t have a super awesome job in the sense of what i bring home monetarily, but i do in pretty much every other sense of it. and, most importantly, i have a family at home i love the hell out of me and they seem to feel the same way. what more could i fucking want?

pills that run out evenly, apparently.

i take nine of those little fuckers a day, and with a bottle of ninety they should break off evenly. but the last several months they haven’t. in fact, i seem to ALWAYS come in with two left over. every. fucking. time. so today, after i’d taken the last TWO in my previous bottle, i got another, came home, and cracked that fucker open – emptying the whole damn thing into a solo cup. i then started refilling the bottle…and counting.

i had ninety-two. and i’m willing to wager when i count the next bottle, just to be sure, it’ll be the same thing. we’ll find out in ten days or so. but all this time i thought i was getting fucked with eighty-nine. you figure they’d short you one before giving you an extra two, right? just makes more sense economically – but it wasn’t the case.

i gotta start being more positive. and remember to take those after i write this, actually…