i’m just sitting here in my underwear and wanna talk about death

today’s title is only half right…

…and after this it needs to stop.

seriously, between lemmy and bowie and what’s-his-nuts from the eagles i’ve been talking about dead folks a lot lately. i’d love to say it’s some psychiatric need for purging on the topic because in another couple weeks we hit the twentieth anniversary of my mom’s death. i’d LOVE to say that’s why.

but it’s not. they just keep dropping like flies.

first off, i’ll address the title. ya see, long before their was the internet and chat rooms and shit (do those even still exist?) there was those late night chat lines they’d advertise on tv. you’d see a commercial of “hot sexy college coeds” that were always “in your area” (this generic phrase meant the spot could run in any market, versus overdubbing city name after city name) AND so you envisioned these lingerie-clad giggling sluts who were alone and liked to talk on the phone. all girls like to chat on the phone, right? this HAD to be legit!

typically, not so much.

but for giggles once a buddy of mine called (on speaker phone) and unlike most actually ended up in a phone chat room with a few girls (nine out of ten times it would be a fiesta de chorizo in there) and he opened with today’s title as his intro statement (“i’m just sitting here in my underwear and wanna talk about death”) and next thing you know the giggling stops and you just hear clicks and then a recording that says “you are now the only person in this chat room…to change rooms, please hang up and dial in again to be connected to hot, sexy college coeds at your local universi…” (and he hung up before the “ty”).

he always had trouble making friends.

earlier this week abe vigoda died. he was ninety-four. when hearing bowie or lemmy died people responded with, “shit, really? how’d he go?”. when vigoda died those same friends didn’t ask those questions. why? because he was ninety-fucking-four. at that age dying is the one thing people EXPECT you to do. everything else is a surprise! abe was an actor most known for his roles in the godfather and the seventies cop comedy barney miller. he was also immortalized in the beastie boy lyric “you know i’ve got rhymes like abe vigoda”. so few people knew he was even still alive that somebody started the website isabevigodadead.com and kept the url current for fucking YEARS. and the whole time it was just a white screen with the word “NO” on it. sadly this week it changed and now shows this:

abe dead

i wonder if they’ll just let the url go after this? if so i’m snatching it up as a redirect…in abe’s memory, of course.

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