let’s talk about unicorn hemorrhoids

i thought this was a butt-load of shit…

…but apparently this is a real thing:

the first time i saw the ad it was on youtube before some video i wanted to see, and i swore it was some kind of comedic bit. but when i saw the longer one (the video above) i saw them make reference to amazon ratings and so i looked it up and…no shit…this is really a thing.

now i’m curious if it would help me. not like i feel i have problems in this department, but it does arise some curiosity. i don’t think glitter or rainbow sludge will come out – it’s been a while since i’ve been that drunk in a strip club. but i might have to drop the thirty bucks come pay day and see how things come out…

…yeah, i did that on purpose.