why i skipped breakfast tacos this morning

remember that game where you pick two random words and put them in google to see what you get?

yeah, today try it with “chorizo firefighter”.

except for me this wasn’t random, and no i wasn’t looking for fireman dick picks. actually, the pic that pops on the first story you see is a woman:

fire chor

but she was just the camera person. yep, you read right – ’cause the only thing stupider than doing something über stupid is having somebody film that shit. i THINK this was just hazing taken too far (not that i’m trying to excuse it, you understand, but rather just get a grip on what the fuck) but yes, i decided on this day where every firefighter is looked at as a hero due to the heroic actions of fdny first responders i’d like to just point out that some of them aren’t heroes, but rather just assholes…just like every other group of people on the planet.

seven north texas firefighters were indicted this week (including the chief and assistant chief) for their role in what i’m sure will be dubbed “sausagegate” since most people up north don’t know what chorizo is (fyi – it’s mexican sausage). it stemmed from some of them holding down another firefighter…

(again, and the ufc and i discussed this last night, i just don’t get hazing (and neither does she). “hey, we want you to be one of us so we’re gonna fuck you up for a bit?” in the name of “character building”? fuck that!)

…and trying to sodomize him with a broom handle (see what you can learn from watching orange is the new black?) but when that failed one of them is heard saying he has something better, goes off camera, and returns with a chorizo that is then shoved up where it would have ended up anyway, just going the opposite way. the young lady above filmed it all, and then took it to the third level of stupidity:


1. do something stupid enough to probably get your ass ratted out
2. film it so if it IS reported there’s irrefutable evidence
3. show it to your boss, just so there’s no secrets

and while the chief watched and chuckled and called it “funny shit”, he aslo said it was stupid and that the guy COULD rat them out, he then sternly told him “but you won’t”.

think again.

so now they’re all jobless and facing criminal charges…which i see as good. if i was the victim i’d be the one on trial for a quintuple homicide, so it’s probably best it happened to somebody else on multiple levels.

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