glitter grenade go bye-bye

i hate when plans go awry…

…especially when i really liked ’em. and when they went awry through no fault of my own. actually, i guess i was partially at fault on this…and so were some of you.

the bane of my existence, for the last several years, has been this annoying as fuck cat across the street. it gets on the soft top of my bmw. it leaves little dirty paw prints all over our cars. and it is allowed to roam the streets 24/7 and the owner put a fucking bell on its collar so when it does creep into my garage and get on the car at, say, 4am, it makes just enough ruckus to set budnik off, which scares the little fucker away and wakes me at all hours…

…this piece of shit has got to go.

i’ve had several conversations with the owner of said animal, who basically has told me that’s the way the cat likes it (to wander freely) and who is she to restrict its wishes? it’s an illusive little bastard, and in trying to trap it with either a small game trap of JAB’s or one from the city i have trapped a really big fucking rat, an opossum, and three other cats that were NOT that one.

(the latest was my new neighbor’s cat, which after he had to retrieve it from the city animal shelter he learned we don’t let those little fuckers wander here)

traps ain’t cheap, but i’m still thinking of splurging and getting my own because the city won’t leave theirs out over the weekend, and i could always use it to trap squirrels or whatever the fuck runs around my attic in the winter, right? but in the mean time i want this neighbor bitch* to pay with some kind of mental pain and anguish, and to that end i had a plan – send the cunt a glitter-gram!

here’s the problem…everybody else had the same plan. truth. an article i read states the site is now down, no longer taking orders, and is actually for sale. it got too big for its spangly britches…and i’m at fault for being one of the 250K social media shares…as are some of you, for sharing my share. but several other sites have sprung up to fill the void…

…which, for some reason, has made me lose interest. at least for now. if only there was a way to just mail the fucking cat glitter…or, better yet, mail the fucking cat to australia where that site started in the first place!

* – in case it seems i’m being a bit harsh to an irresponsible cat owner it should also be noted this woman backed out of her drive way when i was already in the street and t-boned me in front of my own house, than told the police it was MY fault and i had to go scientifically prove she hit me in order to extract any dough out of her insurance company, so there’s a bit of a cuntish history to this bitch!

1 comment… add one
  • ME Jan 22, 2015 @ 18:22

    Funny! Just so you know if you sent that to me, well if you still could, I would lose what’s left of my mind compulsively cleaning glitter.

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