fed expletive

i know these are some white folk problems i keep bringing up…

…but this was seriously annoying.

all i was trying to do was turn it up to eleven. i’ve always used bose ear buds until i got my iPhone…but it’s my case that restricts the ear bud selection. one that appeared to work of the fancier ones were the new ones from marshall…

…yes, THIS marshall:


(okay, so that’s kerry from slayer, who i’ve done shots with backstage for anybody curious, but the amps behind him are by marshall, even though they might be dummies in reality – megadeth uses fake ones, but then again, that ain’t S L A Y E R ! ! !)

so, anywho, i got some used ones off eBay for under $40. they shipped fed ex, and i followed the tracking number till last thursday when they were supposed to arrive. we were all home (me, the ufw, her kiddo) when i checked the tracking it had suddenly gone from “on vehicle for delivery” to “!!!DELIVERY EXCEPTION!!!” with all these red exclamation points, claiming that they had tried to drop it off and nobody was home.

“bulshit!”, i exclaimed, since we had all been home since about 5:30 and the the update, which hadn’t appeared until after 7:30pm, said this attempt had been made at 6:21pm. but when i looked on my white wooden screen door out front, sure as you’re born there was a big WHITE note from fex ex, but the bottom had a spot where you could sign which i did since the guy had shipped these “signature required”…

…funny that the guy that ships me $35 ear buds requires a signature to make sure all is well, but the folks that ship me $1,500 items will just let it ride all willy nilly and shit. moving on…

…so the next day i figured they’d pull the fed ex trick whereby they leave a note that basically says, “hey, sorry we missed you today – so tomorrow we’ll try to pop by at THE EXACT SAME FUCKING TIME when, you know, you’ll STILL BE AT WORK and try again…” and i was home from 8am to 2:30, with the wifey getting home an hour later (with no new note on the door, but who cares ’cause that signature on the one from the day before should make them drop it off according to their own fucking paperwork regardless) and then she was home all night. i watched the app like a hawk and just after seven it went from “on vehicle for delivery” to “!!!DELIVERY EXCEPTION!!!” with all these red exclamation points, claiming that they had tried to drop it off and nobody was home…again.

with a 7:21pm time stamp this time, when the ufw had been home for hours. the odd part? their was no change to the note from the day before, no extra marks, and no new note. i guaranfuckingtee those motherfuckers just got lazy and SAID they came by but never did.

i was livid to say the least.

i tried to call them but got stuck in the phone tree from hell for ten minutes and said “fuck this”. i have the apps for all three major couriers (FedEx, UPS, and USPS) so i just went on that and while it grayed out the option to do a digital signature for some reason, it DID allow me to “modify delivery” which meant i could have it shipped to a FedEx location to pick up, so i just did that and picked the one around the corner from the old sundance records location since it was closest to the house…

…and for some reason THAT worked. they delivered the package on saturday there, and i was able to pick it up sunday on my way home.

the coda to all this? when all was said and done i DID get my package, but the sound quality on these isn’t that great. i mean, i’ve only listened to one album, and even then just kind of sampled tracks, but so far i’m not impressed. sucks to deal with that journey just to be disappointed, ya know?

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