it’s all about lawyers, but ain’t in legalese

let’s start off this bit with a joke…

…what’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one’s a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other one’s a fish.

let’s not mince words – i owe some people some money. some of them will get paid, some of them will not. as i’ve always said, if you die in debt, you win. i am a winner in that sense of the phrase.

other senses of the phrase as well, i suppose.

so the other day i was pretty shocked when i got home late and had not one, but TWO letters from austin-based law firms in my mail box at the house.

“what the FUCK did i do?!?!?”, i wondered to myself.

turns out, apparently, when you get a speeding ticket law firms can see it – and they offer to take care of it for you (read: NOT for free) but for fuck’s sake, it’s a speeding ticket – and the lesser of my two in the last month (my first in almost twenty years, as i believe i’ve mentioned) so i’ll just pay the fucker and call it done. no need to go apeshit here. but seriously? bombing my mailbox for a $160 ticket? how cheap could their fee be to make this worth my while?


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