i just used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket

and you all know the title is bullshit…

…for one, i have no boobs. for two, i’ve actually have two speeding tickets i have to take care of this month – my first since the mid 1990’s.

that’s some bullshit.

but you’ve probably seen this as a facebook status. and it’s a trap. if you comment on it, you get an email that says:

you should not have liked or commented on this post. Now you have to pick one of the 14 below and post to your status. this is the 2014 breast cancer awareness game. don’t be a spoil sport choose you poison, and change your status 1) damn diarrhea 2) just used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket3) anyone have a tampon, i’m out 4) how do you get rid of foot fungus 5) why is nobody around when i’m horny? 6) no toilet paper goodbye socks 7) someone offered me a job as a prostitute but i’m hesitant. 8)i think i’m in love with someone what should i do? 9)i’ve decided 2 stop wearing underwear. 10)i still love my ex. 11)i really don’t know how 2 tell anyone and i’m sick of hiding it i’m gay. 12)guess it was 2 good 2 b true i’m pregnant. 13)just won $7000 on a scratchy 14)i’ve just found out i’ve been cheated on for the past 5 months. post with no explanations. sorry, i fell for it too hahaha! looking forward to your post!

yeah, i’m the guy who was a spoil sport. why, because it’s stupid, and could send some people into a panic if viewed at the wrong hour…

in order of appearance:

1. i would never share on that level
2. don’t got ’em
3. see #2
4. i’m cleaner than that
5. that’s the ufc
6. see #4
7. not like i don’t have the skills, but no…
8. see #5
9. see #4
10. oh, HELL no!
11. see #10
12. see #2
13. i wish!
14. this would make the ufc look bad, so i would never put that

and there you go. so stop sending me the fucking emails and i’ll just stop commenting on pretty much everything…deal?