a sixer the way they used to be

i was thinking about some of my older bits…

…like “pre-whore”, when i used to just write for kramer’s site.

back then i used to almost exclusively do “list bits” – top tens and such. and the list was never one where every blessed thing on it was a paragraph, it was just simply a list. like “signs you haven’t let your metal phase go” or “gifts you can buy mama at the truck stop”. we used to even count ’em backwards like letterman does (since that was kind of where the idea came from in the first place – from me & lance sitting up watching letterman back when he was actually on duty as a lockhart cop, sitting on my couch in uniform with the radio on the coffee table – ah, our tax dollars at work!) so in that vein i present:

“six things that sound innocent if you have kids and sound like a gay or lesbian bar downtown if you don’t”

6. fruit by the foot
5. wienie roast
4. gushers
3. slip ‘n slide
2. juice box

and my personal favorite (the one that kicked off the idea):

1. the ball pit