hollidaze (a flashback)

i figured since holidays are a time for family, and it IS thanksgiving week, i should throw a lizism as the title of the first holiday time entry, right?

but it fits.

it’s 1:34 am as i’m starting this – on monday. i have to be up for work in less than five hours, and i’m sitting at the keyboard of the notorious h.l.g.’s computer (i haven’t done up the router yet to where mine can be on the rr connection, too). why on earth am i not asleep? three guesses…one of these is the real reason. take a stab…

wine buzz

after some serious outlet mall exploration today we ended the evening with what was supposed to be a nice italian meal with some good friends. but fate intervened…often. first off, we had our appetites hit earlier and we figured my friends would call later than we planned – so we went to have a snack, but we were both craving chinese, so we ended up at this buffet place and next thing you know we’re full. two hours later my phone starts playing brass monkey and dinner is on time.

oops.

so, we go in figuring we’ll just order, pick at it, and take it home for lunch later in the week. sounded smooth enough, right? but there was NOTHING smooth about the meal. each course had it’s own attached trauma. the company was delightful, though. the food was good, too. oh hell, just check it out course by course…

the wine

i went cheap and ordered a caraf of the house red. it sucked. so, i ordered a shiraz. the waitress couldn’t get the cork to budge, so i offered – and then (for the first time in my life) broke the cork off in the bottle. she took it to the bartender and he got all well again…with only a little bit of cork in the taster portion we started with before killing the bottle.

the salad

half way through, i go to make a point and i’m (surprise) gesturing as i speak. i proceed to bring my hand down on my fork and launch caesar-soaked lettuce, parmesan, and crouton all over me. misses the h.l.g., though, so it could have been MUCH worse.

the meal

it’s official – whenever we go somewhere new, alex (a.k.a. the notorious h.l.g.) will like what i get MORE than what she gets. i have an almost perfect record with this. johnny carino’s was no exception. italian pot roast is apparently not as tasty as typical pot roast – and in this case got it’s ass kicked by my baked tortellini – so hers got sent back, and before they could come back to get a new order, we had split mine and were content – keep in mind, we did do the chinese buffet only two hours before. eating even THAT much kinda hurt…

dessert

we still decided to go balls out and get dessert, though – because the tiramisu (and yes, i’m sure i spelled it wrong) looked too tempting. our waitress said they were out, but then yelled back to verify and gave us a ray of hope for a moment, only to shoot it down again and say they were indeed out. we ordered something else only to have the manager turn around and bring us some tiramisu that she said “wasn’t perfect, so they couldn’t sell it – but she would give it to us”. all the better.

but with all that stress for the meal and a killed bottle of shiraz is it any wonder i’m still awake? or is it because of stress from…

holding cell trauma

holidays are the time for family my ass. so, my second cousin comes to austin and this was my weekend to show patrick around. he wanted to go to the outlet mall. being from scotland (we have family both there and ireland) he had never seen an “outlet mall”. turns out he also wasn’t familiar with restrooms that just have the figure symbols for male and female instead of the words.

turns out those international symbols aren’t so international…next time you look at the female one, think about a large man in a kilt. it FITS.

and it got worse…

finding a mexican national woman in what patrick thought was the men’s room, he took her for some whore that worked the joint and tried to have a go. a scream and a scene later and i get to find out that cops don’t have much of a sense of humor about this kind of thing (nor do mexican husbands) and that they have a police substation IN the outlet mall. that place DOES have it all, don’t it? a fine and an apology later and the international incident was nothing more than a painful headache…

…which is why i’m sitting in the dark typing at what is now 1:58 am.

or could it really be from…

bucky’s revenge

i left the house today craving two things – wisconsin cheese soup from schlotzsky’s and a peppermint mocha from starbuck’s. the former makes sense to just about anybody – it was gray and rainy today, so it was the perfect soup day. and when it comes to soup, it’s either that or the baked potato soup from bennigan’s and i’m a happy kid. schlotzsky’s let me down, so lunch was at bennigan’s. post-luch we were way too full, so we walked it off at the outlet mall and then it was coffee time. now i am NOT a coffee drinker per se – but this stuff tastes like a melted down ande’s peppermint, so i am all over it.

but here’s the problem…

when you’re on low carb (which i haven’t been as strict with as i need to be and my weight shows it) your body doesn’t handle large amounts of sugar well…and between one of those and a carmel pecan tart, i have enough in my system to go instadiabetic.

but i earned it.

post-outlet mall we went to the starbucks right next to the mall – only to find out they were OUT of what they needed to make it. but that wouldn’t do – so we went to new braunfels. after getting our fix, we went shopping there at wal-mart and headed home. but with all that sugar and caffeine, do you think i’m sleepy?

FUCK NO!!!

guess which one of these is the real reason i can’t sleep even though it’s now 2:07 in the a.m. did my non-coffee ass go over to the dark side (all be it with one seriously girly drink)? do i even have cousins? did the italian meal from hell (with the good company – can’t stress that enough) leave me buzzing from wine and hallucinating that maybe there would be a horse’s head in my bed to keep the italian curse theme alive? or is that lump under the covers just the notorious h.l.g.? (not that she’s not a HELL of a lot more fetching than a decapitated sea biscuit skull, you understand!!!) or, is it choice (d) – none of the above?

either way – it IS now almost quarter after two in the morning – i should probably go crash…or at least try to.

Replies: 4 Comments

Yeah… that qualifies as an overshare.
For the record, it’s “shiraz,” “tira misu” Rumpleminze.
Fuck. I can’t help myself but edit these days…

kathi said @ 11/30/2004 09:33 PM CST

ME, i think i’ll just stick to my xxx-mas tradition of downing a whole bottle of rumplemintz and then painting a pierced part of me red and white striped with edible body paint…but perhaps i’m sharing too much here.

sean said @ 11/23/2004 02:56 PM CST

If you want a homemade peppermint mocha make coffee, add chocolate syrup and pepermint extract. If you want a coffee that will put you our swap the extract for schnapps. 🙂

ME said @ 11/23/2004 12:01 PM CST

no comment… 🙂 let’s go drink a beer after you exit Dell one of these evenings!