this some plant shit, devil…

the things i do for your people…

…seriously.

understand, i’m not on my wellness journey for me. i’m sick of me. i’ve been around me for fifty-five years and lately, with all the bitching and moaning about “i can’t walk right no matter what i do”, i’m kinda over me. but quite a few of you, it seems, have grown kinda attached to me, so i’m trying everything to get right again so i can go out, be social, and not have the same “what happened?” conversation for the thousandth time because, quite honestly, i’m not really sure what happened, it just did.

but here we are…

so the latest thing i’m trying i stumbled onto via an instagram ad, as so many before it, but this one i got drawn to not just by the claims, but by the name (same way i picked my preferred weed vape, but never mind that now) – juicy joint.

no, it doesn’t make me wanna wear the damn pants…

unlike a lot of previous crap i’ve taken, where the only reviews i could find online were the ones from sites that seem like the company put them up themselves just for when you googled “super joint pill reviews” or what have you, this company actually had a trust pilot page, and most of the negative reviews were about ship time (but the company now has an amazon storefront so that took six hours) and the taste.

that’s where they can’t overstate enough – i was trying to come up with a taste description after the first dose – and the taste was off the charts bad. originally, after dose two, i came up with “a bum’s nut sack marinated in dumpster juice”, which i’ve never honestly tasted (nor will i ever) but after dose three this morning i realized what the flavor can almost be compare to…

…it definitely has the burn, and this morning i realized it has a black licorice overtone to it, which i caught when i burped it up (ick). one amazon review described the taste as “earthy” but i think that a severe understatement and, quite honestly, an insult to the taste of dirt. no, i think the jäger description fits best, especially with it being 30-40% cane alcohol, which isn’t intoxicating in the slightest, but is rather used as a solvent to preserve plant oils as they course through your system…although it does have a similar burn, and i just realized clocks in at the same proof as jäger, so???

as i mentioned, i’m only three doses in (this is in addition to hitting the gym three days a week, taking six packs of both advil and tylenol every day, plus home-core spinal treatment every night before bed, in addition to copious amounts of stretching and calisthenic exercises) so we’ll see where this path takes us. i wonder when i run out of paths?