coptism?

it’s nice to know that, after twenty-four years, fucked up shit still happens to me that’s “whore worthy”…

…and this definitely falls in that category.

i was driving the van (which, as my boss accurately puts it, “…is more ‘blind spot’ than ‘spot'”) and went to change into the left lane. checked the mirror, a guy was back there, but decently far behind, so i signaled and started to ease over. he honked before i could even break the stripe – i went back in my lane, waited for him to pass, and then got behind him and proceeded towards the u-turn lane.

no big deal.

we then start to go under 183 and he starts to decelerate a bit more than i expected given the fact you have your own lane when you come back out onto the frontage. i decelerated in kind but mumbled something to the effect of, “c’mon, buddy, i got shit to do…” under my breath. never yelled. never gave the finger. nothing. but he continued to rapidly decelerate until he came to a halt a few yards into the lane we get on the frontage. you’re a captive audience at that point due to a curb to your left and white lane pipes to your right.

then shit got weird – he got out of his lexus.

“holy fuck, i’m about to shoot a guy in the head in broad daylight”, i thought to myself, as i rolled down my window and reached for my backpack.

the man was a light-skinned black guy, neat in appearance (but not overly so), and the only thing in his hand was his iphone, so i took my hand off my bag as he approached the van walking with purpose. he started gesturing towards the front bumper as he got near the open window, and instantly launched into his tirade…

“gotta have a front plate, homie”, he half yelled, “gotta have a front plate. he moves quickly to the back of the van and i believe took a picture of the back plate (remember the “more blind spot…” scenario), and just as quickly was walking back up, again with some purpose behind it, “it’s texas, homie, gotta have a front plate”, he said again, gesturing at the front bumper, but never broke stride as he headed back to his open door…

“HEY”, i yelled, loud enough to turn him around, then calmly but firmly stated, “two things – one, i ain’t your ‘homie’…and two, it’s a MUCH bigger violation to stop in a lane of traffic for no fucking reason than it is to not have a front plate!”

“gotta have a front plate”, he said loudly one more time, then got in and drove off…sorta.

i add “sorta” because he left in the far left lane, which gets you onto mopac, and i skipped over to the far right lane, but then he slowed down on the entry ramp to mopac almost like he was staring at me one last time before i took my right to the warehouse. i’m pretty sure he was saying, “gotta have a front plate, homie”.

me thinks someone has a touch of the ’tism.

when i got to the warehouse i was talking to the guys about what just happened and it was one of them that suggested the guy might just be really autistic. apparently one of the tenets is strict adherence to rules and regulations, as they help govern and make things make sense. they also level the playing field – regardless of what race, gender, or orientation you are, they (allegedly) apply to everyone equally. so some spectrum folk tend to cling to them quasi religiously to the point where they feel it’s their duty to “enforce” them, hence my term “coptism” as the title.

see – now it makes sense! but it also seems a bit dangerous.

as a person of color, getting out of your vehicle after screeching to a halt to approach the driver behind you is dangerous. hell, just doing so as a person, let alone “of color”, is dangerous. especially in texas. we have guns here. lots of ’em. hell, i have one that lives in the car just in case i don’t have my bag with me. and, as mentioned, my bag WAS with me yesterday when this went down. if i hadn’t noticed it was a phone, well, we’ve seen how that plays out some times.

so, if the guy that did this happens to read this, or if you have friends or relatives on the spectrum that drive and might be prone to this behavior, try to get this through where it sticks – this is dangerous. this can get folks hurt or killed. this is shit that need not happen again.

plus, it was more than a little annoying. i got shit to do.