trying to be a meth head ain’t all it’s cracked up to be

so, i finally caved in and succumbed to the ads and bought some methylene blue gummies.

i feel compelled to stay the course, just because it was forty bucks for three bags of gummies and they ain’t even weed, but i swear they’re just overpriced candy.

ME swore she and hers felt a difference, so i decided to give them a try. all things i saw online were that the gummies were more potent and had better absorbsion than the drops, so went that route. forty bucks for three bags but i noticed some odd shit straight off the bat…

1. the bag show’s how much methylene blue is in each gummy (5mg), but they suggests “1 to 4 gummies per day depending on need”. that’s a pretty big range considering. i went with four because ME is taking capsules, which are 20mg, so i figured if her tiny ass could handle 20mg i could, too.

2. while they’re labeled “pure” and “lab tested” and such they don’t have any scannable barcode, no listed country of origin or manufacture, and no ingredients, but do show nutritional content.

3. i just noticed in the bag that came from china with the gummies in it there’s a dead mosquito. didn’t the simpsons warn us of such things?

also, all the ads i saw said “you know it’s pure and working when it turns your pee blue”. well, mine isn’t. while it’s not mentioned anywhere in any of the ads or articles i’ve seen about this crap, apparently high doses of vitamin c can enhance it’s antioxidant capabilities, but turns the blue dye clear, and my multivitamin has 333% of the recommended daily allowance of it, so that might be why i’m not staining my toilet? not terribly upset by that, but was kinda looking forward to seeing blue pee at least once. after fifty-five years of yellow to clear it’d be nice to have some variety.

i’m gonna go through all the emails and shit and try and catch another ad on insta to see if maybe these things have some kind of money back guarantee and go after it if they do. more and more, as i write this, i’m realizing $40 for gummies only makes sense if they’re laced with THC, which reminds me i need to get more of those on order, too…

(and this will be the last time we discuss these…)