subscription nation

seriously…

…why is everything these days a fucking subscription? i ordered gummies, and all of a sudden i’m subscribed to them. to gummies? and while i ordered three bags (buy two, get one free) two weeks ago, they’re not here. meanwhile, they say they re-up you every three weeks. so i ordered three MONTHS worth, and two weeks later they’re still in transit, but before i even try them you want to charge me again? for three more months worth? while the hoarder gene on my mom’s side is strong, that’s a little ridiculous!

i went through the same thing with some bp-157 pills. i was nervous about injecting myself (spoiler alert – zero results) and so i ordered the pills first, but when they didn’t work after a couple months, i cancelled the subscription i had inevitably ended up with. i later saw an ad on insta, after i’d tried the injections since i’d been told they worked better than the pills (not on me, same zero result) that said, “stop injecting your gut for your leg pain and read this”. i did, and it said the pills don’t work on an empty stomach, which i always took them in the morning before i ate, so i wondered if that was where i erred. i looked at the site attached to the link, filling out absolutely nothing when i did so, and noticed the labels on the bottles advertised on the site looked different than the empty one i’d held on to so that i had a visual aid of what NOT to waste my money on, but i still didn’t order, put in my email, anything. the next day i had an $89 dollar charge on my card (i’d paid $50 for the other two bottles) and when i contacted them telling them this was unauthorized and i was gonna file a charge back, they emailed back within a day saying they would fully refund and cancel my subscription, which i’d never reactivated in the first place.

i had another bout with a supplement company that said they had a “no hassle 60 day guarantee” but then the actual hassle was you only got a refund if you returned unopened product, which meant you never tried it, so how would you know it worked? when i pointed that out, and again threatened a charge back, they couldn’t move fast enough to get me my money back and forget the whole thing. i have another supplement company i’m still trying to figure out where they HIDE their fucking unsubscribe button, but i they have a very easily findable “reschedule your next shipment” button, so i’m currently pushed out till july there.

so now i guess i need to go find the unsubscribe on the gummies before another ninety are on their way before i even know what these fuckers taste like…