thrill grill kult (a throwback)

i’ve decided i’m not as big a loser as i gave myself credit to be…

(don’t click on comments yet, that was too damn easy for y’all…)

see, as of today it’s three weeks till my birthday (or, if you prefer, 21 more shopping days) and i was gonna do a b.y.o.s. birthday bar-b-que bash. (b.y.o.s.=bring your own steak). i was gonna have it somewhere in central to south austin, was gonna tote in the potatoes and the salad, and even had a grill plan.

but then i started to see holes in the plan…and i don’t just mean the grill.

but let’s address that one first. i am (as the tattoo on my left arm would indicate) from texas. and if i wanted to cook my steak (or brisket, or chicken, or really anything) on my gas stove, i’d stay in my fucking kitchen. for that matter, if it’s just a “heat up” kinda grill, i have the george foreman one, which is also in my kitchen. no need to haul out and deal with mosquitoes and the pleasantries of texas on a summer sunday afternoon for stuff i can do in my own damn kitchen. if you’re gonna grill, god damn it, grill like a man, ya know what i’m sayin’? if there ain’t no fire, it ain’t no bar-b-que. sure, it’s not portable, but there in lies our second point.

see, my main reasoning behind doing it in austin (the bar-b-que, that is) was convenience for other people. to improve the turn out. but then several realities hit me all at once…

1. if i’m already cooking, providing two-thirds of the meal, and arranging the damn thing, all for my OWN birthday, why should i have to commute too? am i THAT big a loser?

2. sure, it means that all my co-workers still won’t know where i live…but the more of them that show up, the more i have to feed, and the more it costs me.

3. i barely make it into the city these days when i’m paid to…and i do it six or more days a week for the last three years; if they can’t drive for a day to hang out with me, have me cook, and chill out in the country, fuck ’em!!!

so, i’m still debating location. if i can get my buddy jim (hint-hint) to let me throw my new, not-so-portable grill in the back of his truck, we might take it down by the river (no, NOT in a van) in san marcos. if not, i’ll just do it at my place…sure, that adds to clean-up factor i was trying to avoid, but traditionally we do do this thang in l-town…but by the river would be cool.

i just can’t believe i was gonna soil my pallet with “bar-b-que” cooked on propane. what the fuck was i thinking? hank hill be damned, hard wood is the way to go. “taste the meat not the heat”? how fucking gay is that? and san marcos also keeps up my other fine tradition of keeping my actual residence location on the down low…so, we might go that route after all. JAB, got my back on this one? if so, harold (owner of sharp things tattoo & body piercings, on the square in san marcos (two minutes from the river) – 512-353-1170), bring some business cards…

Replies: 8 Comments

yea, if you’re gonna get a grill – get a contraption you can develop a symbiotic relationship with. fuck that gas shit.

g. said @ 05/30/2003 05:31 AM CST

well, Rev., since juneteenth IS a thursday, i’m thinking more like saturday…but this all remains to be planned…

sean M said @ 05/29/2003 04:17 PM CST

Mmmmmmmm… longpig…

Harold said @ 05/29/2003 03:41 PM CST

well, as for the rest of the peeps we work with, I dunno, but as much as I’d love to join ya, that’s around the time the car shall be bein fixed. *smile* So, no transport…. but, maybes, suprises on the desk at work? (and no, not dirty thoughts here… )

Barbie said @ 05/29/2003 03:03 PM CST

It remains to be seen. I might just have to stumble down there. You better get down there early if its gonna be Juneteenth.

Rev. Dr. Tooth, Esq. said @ 05/29/2003 01:05 PM CST

so, TEETH, if i have it in a van, down by the river (minus the van) you gonna be there? you are one of the bar-b-que alums…and this way we know calum won’t snatch fajita meat straight off the grill like last time…

sean said @ 05/29/2003 11:53 AM CST

When people start talking about grilling, I am so tempted to bring up the issue of cannibalism. Nothing like sitting down to dinner with friends.

the other redhead said @ 05/29/2003 11:35 AM CST

You were gonna use propane? You MUST have been trippinn … or those silly city people been fuckin you up with their book learnin.