“v” ain’t just for “victory” (a throwback)

i’d totally forgotten about this show…

…but now i sure as hell can’t! and what’s even cooler is it’s making it’s throwback debut after not being out there for twenty-two years!

06/27/2002: “live vagina now on stage on congress!!!”

so, it’s that time of year again…time for the show that people can’t hang with talking about. it’s just female comedy, folks. and this time around, it includes the comical stylings of kim fields, aka “tootie” from the facts of life; or “sinclair” (emphasis on the “sin”) on the fox “hit” show “living single”. she was the slutty one. she showed us that puberty had been inordinately kind to her. and now she’s gettin’ her vagina on. on stage, that is…

like i said, it’s the show that dare not speak it’s name….’cause shows can’t speak. but most people don’t wanna say it’s name. because that name contains THAT word. the word most men can’t say, and a lot of women can’t utter, either…


the vagina monologues has been touring for god knows how long…always with a revolving-door lineup; and always to rave reviews. but always with that NAME. doesn’t scare me. i’m not sure if there’s a word out there that at i CAN’T say. but a couple of tours back, this show helped show that gay men REALLY run theater. oddly enough, i’ll explain.

on our ticket system, we have what’s called “announcements”. these are up on EVERY screen on the ticket system in a particular city, to drop very breaking news that all sellers should know. for example, a show sells out; and then tickets are released on day-of-show. you might see:


and you know that if someone comes in looking for tickets, you can hook them up. but once, on a sold out vagina monologues show, the paramount came up with an idea. since the front row of tickets has an inordinate amount of room, they realized they could put a row IN FRONT of that; it’s just that the new front row would be pretty damn close to the stage barricade, so you couldn’t really stretch out and get comfy, although the old front row still could; at least as much as you can in any row of theater seats. so, how to tell the ticket outlets that seats were NOW available for the show, although they ARE a bit cramped, and all in 25 spaces (the announcement limit) or less? i promise you, this is ACTUALLY what they put…and no woman (or person in their right mind)would have done this:


who could keep a straight face with THAT on their damn screen? and you’d think that even a gay man would know a vagina with limited leg room is a BAD thing. not as much as one with PLENTY of leg room, but still a disturbing image. on a sports sedan, leg room is a good thing; but on a …well…you know…not so much. (i’m growing tired of the “v” word already) i don’t know about the rest of the guys reading (or the girls, for that matter) but when I’M thinking of the V-country in a good way, i see complete ABSENCE of legroom as a very, VERY good thing. in fact, the less room to move, the better (as long as it’s not due to it being “occupado”, if you know what i’m saying and i think you do).

okay, this one has been disturbing, hasn’t it? fortunately, to insure this would be the only time this would happen (although i guess i limited my bits with this move) i told this story to the current box office head of paramount; who laughed his ASS off…but the promised he’d learn from past mistakes. i’m kinda wondering if he’ll try and out do it; but time will tell…

Replies: 1 Comment

i’m really going to miss little old ladies saying “do you have tickets to vagina monologues”.

josh said @ 06/27/2002 04:51 AM GMT

0 comments… add one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *