beers, steers, and… (a throwback)

it was a different time, twenty-two years ago today when this bit came out…

…and it’s never seen the light of day since, until now:

04/18/2002: “hump day – not as exciting as the title implies…”

so, worked the day away, hit the gym, got some frozen reptile food, and went to meet kathi and kramer for dinner and booze; the menu for the night can be summed up thusly…(think countdown christmas song here)

5 – pounds of cheeeeeeeeeese
4 – margaritas
3 – scoops of ice cream
2 – dead critters (in the cheese)
and one scary mother fuckin’ drag queeeeeeeeen!!!! (not kramer – a real one..i SO wish i was making that one up, but i’m not)

so, earlier in the day i was on the phone (SHOCK!!!) and was discussing flag etiquette. it seems this person, who shall remain nameless but most reading know of whom i speak since i speak to her more often than every last one of you COMBINED (and have nary a complaint about that, either) was surprised that we here in the great country of texas are allowed to fly the texas flag at the same height as the american one, which is not 100% true.

we can actually fly the texas one HIGHER if we so choose, but doing so tends to cut down on federal funding for our roads and schools, so we keep ’em level to keep the peace. for those of us born and raised, there is no DOUBT where our loyalties lie. we’re not patriots, we’re texriots.

on september 12th, american flag t-shirts could be found all over this state of ours for $10.
on september 12th, texas flag t-shirts could be found all over this state of ours for $10.
on MARCH 12th, american flag t-shirts were being sold two or three for one.
on MARCH 12th, TEXAS flag shirts were still being sold for $10. and they were still SELLING. ya know why?


between birth and death, the average texan will see our flag millions of times. but here are a few (oddly enough, 10) of my favorite places to see it…

1. as a tattoo (like the one that wraps around 80% of my left bicep)
2. flying over the dome of the state capital
3. as a bandana wrapped around the head of willie nelson
4. as a beach umbrella over a sandy picnic on the shores of port aransas
5. in string bikini top form on a hot blonde who is tubing down the san marcos river
6. on the antenna of a gmc z71 4×4 with tires that are taller than an eight year old boy
7. in thong form on a curvy, redheaded stripper
8. airbrushed on the hood of a tricked out 1963 chevrolet impala ss (viva la raza de tejas)
9. as running shorts on a hot latina jogging up the hike and bike trail in austin (i know, i know…three women references…i’m lonely…leave me alone)
10. as a sticker on our laptop with the word “home” below it. wonder who would have THAT, huh?

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