lil fat white trash (a tuesday toss back)

so, the ufc and i just spent our first xmas alone together…

…which got me all sentimental, so i rushed to the archives to see what i wrote for a bit the day after i met her and sadly found:

why does “honey boo bits” sound like a shitty breakfast cereal to me?

Author: sean M Published: November 15, 2012 0 comments edit

that’s what i accidentally titled this as the working title before it posted…

…and the only accident was the “s” at the end. but i giggled my ass off thinking of what the toy prize would be!

one of the nice things about my job is my boss and i have a good bit in common, are practically the same age, and get along really well. as a result, we influence each other a bit…and he and his wife have gotten me hooked on some marginally shitty television in my tenure with his family’s company. he got me hooked on tool academy (to the point i think wrote a bit about it on here) as well as jersey shore (ditto on the bit and sadly i’ve never missed an episode, although i won’t shed a tear when it ends soon) and most recently boss which is epically good and if you have starz you really need to check it out.

the failed attempt at new viewership hookage? the atrocity that is “here comes honey boo boo” or whatever that god awful hillbilly shit is called.

the “premise” on this is pretty simple – there was (is?) a TLC show called toddler’s & tierras which i can only assume, given the fact “TLC” stands for “The Learning Channel” is supposed to teach us that southern folk are scarier than we ever imagined ’cause it’s based around the moms that live vicariously through their little girls they enter into beauty pageants and the emphasis is on the word “LITTLE” as most of the girls are still in the single digits of age.

creepy to see a six year old dolled up like a twenty-something with loose morals, lemme tell you.

but all the worse is one family who don’t just have this warped view on parenting but are everything redneck imaginable. and the nickname for their “lil’ darling” is “honey boo boo”. nasty hygiene, fat-ass folk who think they’re “beautimus” and all the other trappings of life that is existence with too many chromosomes and too little forks in the family tree is on display for this, the second of the “gawk at the car crash” generations.

i made it through three episodes while only a little drunk and more than a little high – couldn’t even do one while sober.

sorry boss – you lost me on this one.

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