even after twenty plus years of doing this online i’m still surprised at some of the ways the internet is just gonna internet…
…and i always hear this old comic routine in my head:
“you know the problem with this new ‘internet thing’? it used to be people’s most sick, weird, depraved fantasies were something they were almost scared to talk about because it was too weird, too taboo, to bizarre, and nobody would ever understand…but NOW they know there’s, like, two hundred chat rooms of that shit, and hundreds more where shit gets WORSE!”
“Imagine a Woman of Your Dreams… Your Object of Desire… Her Charm… Her Sensuality… Her Passion… Try Her Taste… Feel Her Smell… Hear Her Voice… Pugnacity… Charm… Sensuality… Femininity… Beauty… Elegance… Grace…”
what women, you might ask? these to start…
and coming soon, something more in the “shane kryptonite” variety:
what do they all have in common other online influence, cleavage, and a keith richards level addiction to photo filters? well, that would be beer. beer made from their own vaginal yeast. THAT i can’t make up. that’s a thing. an actual thing.
i have an ex that says in your life you get three great loves. she counts me as one of hers. i count her as one of mine. i am lucky enough to still chat with all three of mine (all three are married, only one to me) on a regular basis. but i wouldn’t want to take our bonds that far because…well…ick.
but you know someone has fantasized about this. somewhere there’s the twenty-first century version of a chat room about this. yeah, chat rooms were also in the 2000’s, but i’m talking about subreddits. i KNOW those exist for this – they just have to. and ick, do i NOT wanna go there, so feel free to google that shit for yourself if you wanna. i don’t want that syphilitic malware anywhere near my shit. i’ll be those subreddits infect you with worse shit than the brew does!