i think this was a ‘barber shop’ review? (a throwback)

you’ll notice the title is “good” movie and not “great” movie. for good reason. this one was far from (rules of attraction) horrible, and at the same time far from awesome. but it WAS good. and more than that, it was a quest, damn it.

rules of attraction, one hour photo, and knock around guys. these are three of quite a few movies i ended up seeing when i WANTED to see ice cube’s new flick, barber shop. like i said, not awesome, but not bad. i referred to it today as “friday filler”…as in what cube does with his time between friday flicks. compared to some of his OTHER ways to kill time (anaconda, that one where he was in space that sucked so bad i can’t even remember the title, etc) this was pretty fucking good. no giant, fake-as-pam-lee’s-tits looking snake, no token brotha in space. comparatively, REALLY fucking good. but it had gotten to where it wasn’t so much the MOVIE that i had to accomplish…it was just the principle of seeing it.

kinda like that flick the new guy. i liked it. did it on pay-per-view and watched it twice. pretty fucking good. i had quested after that one when it came to theaters and never got to see it on the big screen, either…but apparently enough of y’all thought it sucked to where it disappeared pretty damn fast and i missed my chance. that ALMOST happened with this one, but i got it when it was in that LAST theater at the end of the hall. you know the one. the one where the screen is JUST a bit larger than the big screen at your favorite place to watch football away from home. the place where you saw spiderman if you waited till september to see it. the one where you look up the times and notice that they go something to the effect of “12:30…4:40…9:15” and that’s IT. because in between, they show something else. it’s got a cinematic room mate. that means one more week, and it’ll be only $2.00 at that theater you went to when you were a kid that now NOBODY goes to because it doesn’t have stadium seating or whatever. but damn it, i saw at the REAL one. and you know what made it all the sweeter?

no goddamn eminem trailer.

don’t get me wrong, that new em flick looks pretty good. i MIGHT go see it. but it has become the fall blue crush…as in you can’t even go NEAR a movie without the same trailer being there over and over and over…that was the reason i never saw blue crush. well that, and the fact it just looked like shit. all my friends were like, “yeah…but DUDE…hot chicks on the beach!!!” valid point. but i have porn at home that contains that. and it’s paid for. and they strip ALL the way down. and fuck each other. that won’t even make the DIRECTOR’S CUT of blue crush on dvd. and like the surfette flick, i KNOW the acting is gonna suck. but the actresses suck, too. and swallow. or take it on the face. beat THAT, blue crush. ya know what else? none of my friends that tried to save that shit in my eyes bothered to see it…and judging off how quickly it disappeared from theaters, none of y’all did, either.

for that, i thank you all.

the movie i REALLY wanted to see, and never got to in theaters was shrek. but that one was probably a wise choice to avoid. i did finally see it on cable, but it was long after kids were receiving it for xmas and such…i was WAY behind on that one. and that’s okay. all those kid movies remind me of my mom (one of disney’s biggest fans) so whenever i see them, i tend to get a little weepy (i AM secure enough in my masculinity to admit that) and so seeing them in public probably ain’t wise. damn, i miss that woman.

plus, if i REALLY wanna see a kid flick in the theater, i’d have to do it liz-style. the way i saw them all when i was growing up….you show up about thirty minutes INTO the movie, stay to the end, watch the credits, then sit through all the previews at the next showing, the first thirty minutes, and then when it starts to look familiar, you get up and leave. believe it or not, that’s how i saw almost EVERY damn movie growing up that my mom took me to. she was not exactly punctual. you know that scene in back to the future with the giant guitar amp? i had seen that movie in the theater, then on cable a dozen times…and i never saw that scene until 1997. no bullshit. that’s why i might not be on time to a lot of things, but damn it, i NEVER miss movie show times. some scars from childhood never heal, i guess…but compared to other folk’s childhood traumas, i guess i got off pretty fucking light, huh?

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Come home with me sometime. I’ll show you 8 Mile. Its the border of Detroit and the world. I was chuckling to myself during that preview….never really ventured to those areas growing up but I do know that the areas they show in the previews are more in the city. And I don’t think that even 8 Mile has trailer parks….period.