and now we see how they turned out (a throwback)

so, i’ve been doing these bits at the end of an occasional entry about people that i feel we should weed out of the herd just to help papa evolution out, right? all in good fun…but this one is serious. and we’ve ALL seen these people out there…

i work with a guy named randy who talks about how if he was younger (he’s in his late fourties) he’d be able to work till all hours of the night, sleep an hour, and pull a full day. well, i’m quite a bit younger, and i don’t even like to do that…but i will TOTALLY admit i used to stay out later, and sleep later, and be okay. the problem is, these days i don’t stay in bed till all hours of the afternoon to catch up from an all-nighter (unless i’m not alone, of course) but otherwise i think i can still hang like i did in my twenties and teens…and i’m thirty-one. my only issue is trying to convert that four a.m. bedtime back to midnight or so come sunday night…THAT’S the challenge.

well, i bet kids have an even TOUGHER time of it…when i was a kid, i could NEVER get to sleep early. just wasn’t my style, which is probably what helped breed some of my late-night jobs later in my adolescence. but what the fuck is up with this trend i’ve seen of parents dragging out young kids at all hours? how many times have you been to a ten something movie and someone’s got kids there? or a midnighter and there are kids around? what the FUCK? you notice how movies like “the country bears” and “monsters, inc” don’t show after 8:00? ya know WHY? because you don’t need to bring your FUCKING KIDS to the theater when the rest of us are trying to enjoy a shreak-free comedy (i.e. no ear-drum-piercings courtesy of that dog whistle your two year old calls a throat) i’m not saying don’t take them out, or to the movies…i went to TONS as a kid. they were called matinees. you walk out, and it’s still DAYLIGHT. nothing wrong with that…

the worst one i EVER saw was the woman that brought her two “under tens” to a 10:30 showing of SOUTH PARK. what? me and jim had FUN with her…we kept asking, out loud, before the movie…”what the FUCK? why the FUCK would this FUCKING woman bring her FUCKING kids in the middle of the FUCKING night to this FUCKING movie? makes no FUCKING sense…” she turned around and through us an evil look…i just looked her dead in the eye, said, “we’re NOTHING compared to what’s about to come off that screen…” and then the lights faded.

she didn’t even last fifteen minutes.

so, flash forward to my way home from SA on saturday night (technically sunday morning, actually). the location? wal-mart super center, san marcos, texas. the time? TWO-THIRTY IN THE MORNING ON A SUNDAY. i walk out with a twenty pound sack of iams large breed (a one week supply in this house) and i see a woman with a kid i figure was six or seven (picture the MAX sized/aged kid that can sit in the kid carrier of a shopping cart but can load/unload themselves) and is dozing off as his mom loads the SUV. she then turns to him and says, “WELL?!?!? aren’t you gonna get out? weren’t you just whining about how you were TIRED and wanted to go HOME? so, get in the truck!!!”

where’s a taser when you need one?

so, now you wanna know why they can’t wake up on monday and why they can’t do well in school? they have NO sleep structure, no rest, and now color outside the lines…a SURE sign early on that NO college will accept them. and all cause you just HAD to make that wal-mart run at a time you knew you would have no crowds…good to sacrifice the kids future in the name of shorter check-out lines. next time, just point at the brain-dead yutz ringing up your fifteen pound box of chocolate-covered whatevers for the kid and say, “that might, if you’re LUCKY, be you in a few more years…” and then go get yourselves fixed.

i’m not being too harsh on this one, am i?

Replies: 5 Comments

There’s really no hope for the future, is there?
A few years back, I had a standing Friday night movie date (as you well know) and one night, we decided to go see 8MM (I always HAVE had that Nicholas Cage thing). So, it’s, like, a 10:30 show. And if you’ve ever seen the movie, you know it ain’t meant for kids. I was 25 – I might have been too young to see it. The hyper-graphic, gutted, crucified Joaquin Phoenix was my favorite part. What do you expect from a movie about a snuff filmmaker? We’re walking out of the theater, both of us mid- to late-20s, both of us disturbed by what we’ve just seen. But that didn’t come close to how disturbed we were when we saw the family of four walking out behind us (the two kids couldn’t have been more than four and six). Both of the kids were wide awake, and likely haven’t slept since. Now, I’ll be the first to jump up and say that I’m not a parent, and I don’t know shit, but if that’s how people behave with their little kids, no wonder we have so many fucked up teens running around-and I imagine they’re only going to get worse.

kathi said @ 10/11/2002 12:13 AM GMT

Damn shame you can’t carry around a hypo full of DepoProvera… inject freaks at will.

Jennifer said @ 10/08/2002 03:28 AM GMT

It’s always fun to read the first ravings of someone moving into Old-Fart-ism. You’re right, and you’re not too harsh.

As a long time old fart, though, I’ve learned one thing for sure — there might have been circumstances beyond your perception that necessitated that trip to the Mart du Wal. Nothing excuses the harshness of the Mom’s tone, though.

Scott Chaffin said @ 10/08/2002 01:22 AM GMT

actually, the people who pull that crap probably don’t read, period.

the dork who writes this slop said @ 10/07/2002 02:40 PM GMT

you should send this one to all the local newspapers. But then again, the people who pull that crap probably don’t read the paper….