death wish 2002 (a throwback)

so, one of the downsides to re-posting eighteen year old bits is that links don’t work…

…well, nine times out of ten they don’t.

and this would be one of those times. the “click here” at the end had a link on the “here” that is way broken, but i’ll explain why at the end.

06/11/2002: “birthday wish runner-up”

i’ve always told kramer that one of these days, IF i’m lucky, my readership will one day hit the double digits…not including people i hang out with. dare to dream, right? don’t laugh…it COULD happen. one day. maybe. kramer says i have certain “psychic” abilities. or maybe that was psycho. i don’t remember which…i was kinda buzzed at the time.

kramer ALSO says that day has already happened. he claims my readership is already far above that. if that IS the case, than i have a birthday wish for you people. this is the runner-up wish; but since i KNOW the real one can’t happen (at least this year), then i need you to all pitch in for this. this is the shit.

it’s TOO smooth. and i want the black one, of course. it has a leather interior, a harley motor, a rockin’ stereo, three custom rims (don’t worry, it DOES only have three wheels) and can top out over 100 mph. now, it does cost quite a bit, but they take installments…so y’all start the down payment off and i’ll pick it up from there. think about the stories i could tell cruising around the state on a manly tricycle that’s harley powered to over 100 mph on the open road. koRn cd blaring….(the new one’s pretty good by the way, and comes out tomorrow), wind through my hair, everything else just a blur.

it insures and registers just like a motorcycle, so it should be pretty cheap in that respect…but i need someone to front up the down payments, and with the birthday being in a week or so, i thought y’all could pitch in, especially if i have all the readers kramer SAYS i do, then you shouldn’t have to pitch in too much, right?

wanna see it? click here.

so, my theory is the link doesn’t work ’cause the company’s out of existence (that part is true) due to it being sued into oblivion by the widow’s of the dipshits that bought these (and i fully acknowledge i wanted to be one of those dipshits). and i couldn’t find a clear pic of a black one of these deathtraps, but here’s a red one:

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