i went one for three – the least crazy of the bunch, apparently (a throwback)

since this originally dropped seventeen years ago today there’s been a rap song “beamer, benz, & bentley)…

…well nowadays i always talk about one, here’s some time for the other two:

02/06/2003: “bentley = big dog, benz = speed bump”

on one of the first MTV cribs episodes, record producer jermaine dupri showed off his bentley convertible saying, “you ain’t one of the big dogs if you ain’t got one of these…”. that line was referenced and repeated by numerous cribs subjects afterwards if they owned a bent, too. who knew if you bought a BENZ for your wife in texas, but then fuck your receptionist, you end up a hotel parking lot speed bump. go figure. should have been a big dog and bought a bentley. at least the automotively uncultured would see the headlines about the “bentley killer” and think that someone knocked off that odd english guy that used to play on the jeffersons.

this past sunday i did something that kramer had always BEGGED me to do…proved my actual existence to the blogger crowd. apparently quite a few of them thought i was just the “banner model” and that kramer actually wrote this shit. now THAT’S entertainment. while at dinner with the gang, it was brought up that at smu, as in dallas, it is ALL about your car. not your house, or your job, but your ride; and he wasn’t with that. i agree. five minutes down the road from my house is the “town” of maxwell, where it is not uncommon to see a couple hundred grand worth of sports cars, suv’s, and 4x4s outside a house about the size of the box my oakley sandals came in…which always made me wonder; if you drive around sixth street, or roll to some club, pick up a girl, and wanna go “complete” the evening, where the hell do you take her? the maxwell shitbox you call home? talk about ruining the perceived image.

but that all makes sense with this latest trial in h-town that’s getting all the press…the “mercedes killer”. okay, first off, it sounds like she killed the fucking car. i’ve been in a miata when it ran over a parking block. THAT is a noise you don’t forget. did the miata die? no. so running over some womanizing orthodontist is NOT gonna kill a mercedes. second off, does it really matter what kind of car home chick was driving? the argument is over murder, not taste in transportation. what’s sad is that even cnn.com felt the need to refer to it as a “$70,000 mercedes”, leaving so many to wonder…so, is that the loaded up c-class or the stripped down s-class? a kompressor maybe? or whatever. who the fuck cares. the point is, she ran him over not once, not twice, but thrice…and claims it was accidental. what kind of turning radius does she think this thing has to prove THAT shit? if you do something once, it can be an accident. twice, and you’re pushing it, but it’s still in possibility country. three times? it’s damn near a lifestyle for you.

not that i’m taking the guy’s side, you understand…he fucked up. clearly. and he needed to pay. i don’t know if he really needed to DIE, but he needed to toss a little compensation, in some way, shape, or form, into ye olde pool o’ karma. but to try and argue that you ran the sum-bitch down three times on ACCIDENT is a bit much. no wonder her attorney collapsed on wednesday and had to be hospitalized. but if it had been with a ford explorer, would the car have played into the case title in the press? and isn’t the real crime here that the bitch didn’t buy american?

Replies: 2 Comments

Have you seen the footage? She was TRIPPIN with that car.

Dr. Teeth said @ 02/07/2003 09:18 PM CST

Bless them who live “H” town… they really are weirder than Austin folks.


astrofishy said @ 02/07/2003 12:09 AM CST

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