let’s get biblical…biblical (a throwback)

you can tell when i was writing shit on the whore “on demand” of one of the readers…


because there were THREE entries on october seventh of 2002, and then none again till the 13th. so we have no exact throwback bit here, so i just picked my fave of the seventh bits:

10/07/2002: “every now and then, i guess i go too far”

the scene was at chacho’s…sa…friday night. kimberly was there. you ALL remember kimberly, right? the “porn-star-in-training”? yeah, i know you’ve ALL been wondering where she might have been (she claims she gets fan mail…why don’t i get fan mail?), and she was upset i “killed off her character”, so i’m just letting you all know she’s still around. and alive. and you KNOW you’ve gone too far when a bisexual, smut-loving, booze-guzzling former vegas girl who has almost SCREAMED in public that “all she wanted was a guy to fuck her in the ass and cum on her face…is that too much to ask?” tells you, “dude…for that you are SO going to hell.”

yeah, like THAT’S news to anyone. i figured i was going a long, long time ago…now i just wanna guarantee myself a good table. maybe a round of drinks from the house. it HAS been a free drink kinda weekend…last night, i got brought a drink on the river walk but never got asked for money. tonight pizza hut brought me a two liter of pepsi without me asking for it or being charged…but never mind that now. back to chacho’s…

i don’t know HOW this got brought into conversation…i don’t. it might have just leaked out of my head…remember how the WOW! chips went away because it actually had the phrase “anal leakage” on the wrapper? well, i have cranial leakage…and usually this site is the kleenex that catches it. well, when tequila gets involved, some occasional unplanned leakage occurs.

i’ve checked, and nobody seems to know how the subject came up…and i was a bit fuzzy at the time, so all i remember is the first line just CAME OUT, and i made up the rest on the spot right there at the corner patio table, which as far as i know i just blurted out after a silence i just HAD to fill:

“…and you know who NEVER got mentioned in the bible, but shoulda? mary’s DAD!!! i mean, in ANY day and age keeping your daughter a virgin not only till, but AFTER marriage is a chore and a half…so how the fuck do you think that whole ‘immaculate’ shit went over with him? can’t you picture it? him pacing around the living room…loading the biblical-era equivalent to a shotgun, screaming at mary, ‘so who IS this god motherfucker? where does he live? what? don’t give me that our LORD shit…i ain’t buying that. wait…i know him…that’s that son of a bitch who lives in that SINGLE WIDE tent on the other side of the main bazaar, isn’t it? well, he’s fixing to be the saddest, limpingist, three sandal-havinginst motherfucker in the whole city!!! that’s right…THREE sandals…two on his feet and one of mine DEEP in his ass!!! i’m gonna stomp an oasis in that piece of shit and then walk it dry!!!’ i KNEW i should have had her marry that doctor…but NO. she had to date that guy that barely made it out of trade school…come on, a jewish CARPENTER? what the FUCK?!?’

you gotta figure, at the VERY least, she must have had a brother or cousin or SOMETHING that jumped joseph’s ass, half pissed cause they feel he made the whole story up and had her feed it to everybody to save the beat down he KNEW he’d get from her family…a whole faith, all founded on the creation of a man who didn’t wanna get his ass kicked for deflowering his prude-assed tease of a wife….”

okay, so maybe NOT the forgotten old testament chapTer…but an eternal damnation guarantee? well…maybe.

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