friday funeral flashbackin’

i have REALLY fallen off on getting shit loaded into the archives…

…i’ll try and work on that.

i did today. i was trying to figure out which of the 2002 bits would be exactly sixteen years old today (the dates on my disc are the date they were saved, so you just have to kinda guess) and i found two other perky-topic may bits leading up to…

05/04/2002: “a tribute”

okay, so here was the plan…next week is mother’s day; i had a nice fun, happy post for today, and then tomorrow (the official “one week” mark) i was gonna do a somewhat light-hearted bit about how that (as in mother’s day, NOT tomorrow) was the one day of the year i felt it was TOTALLY justified for me to get blind-ass drunk at home alone since mom passed away six years ago and the day basically sucks for me and will until i have kids and therefore a woman and can kinda make the day HERS.

but those plans got derailed this morning when i crawled out of bed, post-bar, post-radio-show, and post-strip-club, at the ass crack of noon to get a message on my machine that my grandmother, who would have been NINETY-FIVE in three weeks had gone to spend this mother’s day (and every one after that) with my mom if you know what i’m saying and i think you do.

she and my mom were always the ones to encourage my “gift”; my ability to entertain. (the whole “gift” terminology was what she and mom called it, and i have since learned that’s pretty accurate).

my grandmother was the one who, when i was a kid, would come up behind me, spin the ring around on her hand to where the jewel stone faced downward, and then WHOP me on the back of the head. when i’d spin around and say, “ow…grandma….what did you do that for?” she’d reply, “that’s for nothing, now be good”. if that girl in the second grade who used to pick on the little guy really LIKED the little guy, than my grandmother REALLY liked me.

another poem that my grandmother carried into my world from her pre-depression upbringing:

be careful with your little boy,
and beat him when he sneezes
he only does it to annoy
and ’cause he knows it teases

and when i would get sick, and have to stay home from school, WHO would mom have take care of me???


i was the fastest healing motherfucker on the block, you can believe that. and you people wonder why i never get sick.

so, anyway, in tribute to her, and her love of my ability to entertain, astrowhore is gonna go post-free (a moment of silence, if you will) for the weekend…but i’ll be back on monday morning, i assure you. for now, just need some time to reflect…

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