DON’T smoke ’em if you got ’em

by sean ~ December 29th, 2004. Filed under: Uncategorized.

okay, NO names mentioned…

…but i’ve had a friend or two who’s done his time in a rehab facility.

and by that phrase, i don’t mean that in the “i have this FRIEND” since of the phrase, where it’s actually me, and i just don’t want to own up to it – i mean actual friends.

and YES, i do actually have a couple. some of them read this page. hell, some of them even still speak to me. believe it, or not. but back to the subject…

my first friend to ever go to rehab got out when i was in my early twenties. back then i didn’t smoke (i had barely discovered cigars) and didn’t drink acohol at ALL. i asked him what he’d learned from the experience. you know what his answer was?

”if you really wanna get fucked up, you can always inject gasoline into your tongue…”

i thought to myself, how BORED do you have to be to come up with this idea? why isn’t the imagination that had to research this and conceive of the notion that 20 CCs of mid-grade unleaded would constitute “good shit” on the druggie scale?

(i will grant you that at the price it DOES compare with some narcotic substances these days – but never mind that now)

i chalked it up to late 80s boredom and figured the worst was behind us. dopey me.

now we have “fry” or “wet” – depending on which person you’re talking to or which article you’re reading. a few notes (with my comments, of course) from the bbc article (and before you blame the british, understand they were writing about an AMERICAN problem):

”They reported that the effects…included visual and auditory hallucinations, euphoria, a feeling of invincibility and increased pain tolerance. The high lasts from six hours to three days.”

okay, i’ll admit the first part is a nice break in the day…but three days? what doesn’t get old after three days? i mean, i LOVE blowjobs; but after three days even THAT would get old. wait. forget i said that. let’s move on. next quote…

”However, the drug also produced feeling of anger, forgetfulness and paranoia.”

great – you too, can be my ex-girlfriend. or at least remind me of her. next one, please…

”Stranger symptoms reported include an overwhelming desire to undress and a strong dislike of meat.”

or, i guess, you can become a vegetarian stripper. or a hippy. not sure which is the worse fate here.

all kidding aside, the story that led to this article i just refuse to repeat. it’s so bad that i won’t print it here.

think about that for a minute.

but it ended with a suicide, which i have to say was the easy, pussified way for the guy to die – but given what happened while he was “frying”, i can see how he was driven to it. how i ended up being in the position to hear the tales of ghetto existence we’ll go into on friday. but do you know what’s caused all this fucked up ghetto drama?

ever watched “six feet under”? ’cause the new drug of choice is a cigarette (or joint) dipped in EMBALMING FLUID!!!

can you believe this shit? and you know what’s truly tragic? the main concern of some officials in the articles i read was that there are no drug tests that can detect it, as long as you do it marlboro man style instead of tommy chong style…so you can have a habit more brain numbing than heroin and crack combined and still piss clean. and then there’s the hot topic crowd…

”Dr Julie Holland, of New York University School of Medicine, said: ‘The idea of embalming fluid appeals to people’s morbid curiosity about death. There’s a certain gothic appeal to it.’…”

great…just what we needed. psycho-goths.

so now the new thing is to smoke what will end up pumped into you days after you light up. nice.