testy tuesday?

so, here’s something i’m wondering…

…do i need to listen to my own advice more often?

the reason i ask is i constantly lecture people about NOT messing with their brain chemistry. now granted, i do it constantly via alcohol and such but i’m talking about serotonin, dopamine, and such via pharmaceuticals like antidepressants and the like. i’ve told people that the human brain is basically lazy, and if you chemically spike those levels your brain will stop producing that chemical because it doesn’t HAVE to, making you a life-long dependent on the trillion dollar big pharma folks. while i fully acknowledge some folks NEED this shit, and i’m not ripping them for being in that place, i wonder what the fuck i was thinking trying testosterone boosters?

seriously…

…i will admit i HAVE seen some gains in the gym. hopefully those keep. but i saw some on sale and decided to try it because lately i feel like i don’t have energy or drive to do shit on my days off other than lounge. i have tons of work i need to do on both my home AND car, and instead i just tend to chill out with the dogs. and you keep seeing all the ads and commercials talking about how at my age (forty-five) testosterone drops and you find yourself lacking in energy (true), lacking in motivation (true), lacking in sex drive (ANYTHING but true), etc, etc. a sixty day supply of this stuff was around $25 via groupon, so i tried it…

as the sixty days was coming to a close, this one came up on groupon for less than twenty, again a sixty day supply, so i tried that one almost immediately after:

and again, saw the gym go well. lift more than i typically do. but energy? motivation? OUTSIDE of the gym? nope. and now i’ve been a week without and all this keeps happening. i wonder if that’s all related? i dunno – but i’m not gonna get back on any of that shit if i can avoid it…both said best used for eight weeks, which is all i did. i just wonder if i fucked myself up a bit without realizing it?