hood math?

the ufc was howling with laughter the other day because she was reading a huffington post article about a teacher getting fired for a racist sounding test…

…after she calmed down (which took a while) she dutifully checked snopes only to find out while it wasn’t used in it’s entirety, there had been an alarming amount of educators who had stumbled upon this bit of online based humor and inserted a question or two on a legitimate exam just for fun…only for anything but hilarity to ensue.

so here i present the test in it’s entirety, along with my commentary showing how even in what sounds like an ebonics test it’s still all there just to keep a brotha down…

City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam


1. Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

everybody knows an ak-47 maxes at a 75 round drum, which typically jam. and a drum ain’t a clip – those max at fifty. so…

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn’t cut it?

wait – so now you gotta convert standard (ounces) to metric (grams) AND do the math? talk about setting somebody up to fail!

3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit?

fair question, but at $65 a throw how low quality is that ass anyway?

4. Jarone want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

surprisingly this is pretty straight forward…

5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4X4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs, 3 4X4s, how many Chevies will he have to steal to make $800?

again, surprisingly straight forward except we all know the plural of “chevy” is “chevys” – you don’t change the spelling of a proper noun.

6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?

trusting the name “Raoul” is of latin descent, this could vary – is his girl as well? or is she black? or white? let’s not kid ourselves – that answer can significantly alter the answer here, meaning that once again…

7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

again, pretty straight forward…

8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

better question – how many of them don’t die from a jealous girl’s shank within the first five years leaving some hector bastard orphan?

9. Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up with her expenses?

sure the math is against her, but at least we know she can afford a green suv…


10. Salvador was arrested for dealing crack and his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose by jumping bail?

hey, at least we end with another legit one…

…so with almost half being impossible to answer with the given information this needs to be re-written. stay tuned…

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