today we should remember charles darwin

picture it – it’s the year 2041 and your cnn implant goes off…

…it’s a push notice showing a video shot for their “where are they now” kinda segment entitled “tbtnn” and they talk about the twenty-four year old loser convenience store clerk with the criminal record and drug habit who grabbed his fifteen minutes of fame when the first of many monumentally shitty decisions landed him going for a swim with this gentleman:


bystanders HEARD the little boy talking about “wanting to go in the water” and next thing you know, he did. despite the common theory that the boy “fell” into the gorilla’s habitat, it has since been found “the boy crawled underneath the railing of the 38-year-old Gorilla World exhibit…then made it through wired fencing, over the wall and into the water moat.” so the kid went UNDER a rail, OVER a wall, and through a fence to get their and the ZOO is blamed? or the gorilla? that’s fucking retarded. and if you have too many kids to watch (the mother was said to have multiple kids with her) than stop fucking and let the number dwindle to as many as you can handle. or bring along extra adults…either way, you clearly need to improve your child to adult ratio.

depending on who you ask, the gorilla was either trying to hurt the boy, play with the boy, or protect the boy from the growing crowd above. regardless, zoo officials made the call to shoot to kill the gorilla versus shoot it with tranquilizers to knock it out because on an animal his size they take several minutes to kick in and that was several more minutes the boy could have been harmed.

so in many ways their actions make sense.

but i kinda feel maybe those extra few minutes should have been allowed. not just to save the gorilla, but to teach the kid a lesson. i don’t think the gorilla would have killed the kid – if he was going to, i think it might have happened before he was shot and after the idiot boy went through a military obstacle course worth of barrier to get into the enclosure. but we’ll never know because the zoo went against evolutionary dogma and just shot the gorilla, allowing a human with judgement that poor to keep on keeping on. i don’t wish death on the kid, and like i said, i don’t think that would have happened…but he was out of the hospital within a few hours of the incident, which as slow as the juggernaut of paperwork and bullshit that passes for medical care in this country is tells me he wasn’t too banged up and therefor probably didn’t learn much of a lesson.

so we’re left to ask ourselves two questions –

1. was the life of the boy worth the life of a fellow texan? (the gorilla had been in cleveland less than a year after living incident free in brownsville for quite some time)

and secondly…

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