t&a – how low can you go? how high can you get?

this is supposed to be my month of lower weight and higher productivity…

…but so far, quite the opposite.

part of that is just some weird scheduling, but part of it is genuine lack of energy and enthusiasm to do anything other than chill on the couch with the dogs only to feel guilty as fuck for doing so afterwards. not that the ufc is the one doling out the guilt, i’ll quickly add – this is all self-imposed. she’s not THAT girl. fuck, if she was – i probably wouldn’t have married her.

while i have the slight lack of energy and drive to be productive, i still have plenty of sex drive so i don’t know if “low t”, as the media calls it, is a factor for me. all the plumbing works. in fact, the wifey gets nervous when i talk about trying to increase such things, so i guess i’m doing okay in that department. she’s happy, i’m happy, that’s what matters.

i used to blame a lack of sleep. i don’t get much on the weekends due to a mix of shop and husbandly duties…usually five hours or less per night. i used to make up for this come monday morning, but now that also brings the boy needing to get to school and while i can occasionally numb myself out to go to bed around eleven or so, that still only gives me seven hours or so and while that’s about what i need a night it doesn’t satisfy the deficit. sounds like we’ve found the culprit – until you consider that during the holidays, when the kiddo was away at his dad’s place, i got plenty of sleep – and still didn’t do jack nor squat. so i don’t feel i can blame sleep…or testosterone.

maybe it’s just ’cause i’m getting older?

as that number creeps higher maybe my energy creeps lower? i’ve developed an unhealthy tolerance to caffeine but i’m wondering if some legal speed might help? i’ve tried prescription diet pills in the past and it seemed to not be bad, although i didn’t follow directions and mixed them with energy drinks for an extra “kick”. it’s about a bill to make it happen…guess i might need to just to see what’s up? something’s gotta give – i can’t keep my weight this high and my productivity this low for too much longer before losing my shit!

2 comments… add one
  • Shane Feb 6, 2016 @ 9:26

    I’ve noticed that if I don’t do a caffeine purge every few months, my tolerance builds up. I’ll admit a week with no energy drinks or sodas really sucks but it seems to bring my tolerance back down to a level that caffeine actually fucking works again. It might not work for everyone, but it works for me.

  • sean M Feb 7, 2016 @ 16:47

    i would seriously try that if i thought i could make it through a weekend without—the week days would be easy. but the weekend? it would have to wait till summer, though – when i can get caught up on sleep during the week…or maybe when oz has spring break?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Next post:

Previous post: