can you spoil old shit? (part ii)

as promised, the follow up to thursday’s bit…

11/12/2002: “nature – 0, sean & jim – 1”

…so, jim arrived around 10:30. chainsaw in hand. i was chilling with copper in the den when i heard the rumble of a diesel engine in the driveway…which was odd, ’cause jim’s truck ISN’T a diesel. it was a tow truck. here to haul that blue piece of shit out of my driveway (those of you who know the story can appreciate this). and here i thought the day couldn’t get any better…

“as we discussed, the city had a hearing and this was declared a ‘j.v.’ (as in junk vehicle…not second string high school athletics); so this man’s gonna haul it away,” said the guy from the city, motioning towards the man in the tow truck.

“how much is it gonna cost me?”, i inquired. “nothing,” he responded…”it’s your tax dollars at work”. “is it wrong to hug another man in public?”, i asked. “well, if you don’t, i’ll get this car out of the way faster,” he fired back.


then it was chainsaw time…we chewed through the teeth on one chain completely (i bought a new one, though) and it took another of my vacation days since we started at 10:30, but didn’t finish ’till 3:30 in the afternoon. no blood, no tears, but plenty of sweat…partially from the nervousness when we dropped a big limb (about 18 feet and 450 lbs) that i had secured a rope to and i had to put all my weight behind it so it didn’t crush in the corner of my roof (but if they hadn’t moved that car this morning, that would have crushed it. DAMN…maybe i should have told them to come back tomorrow on that…) and partially from when we had to flip over the thick part of the fork that HAD been leaning up against the roof, which was about twelve feet long and twelve inches thick and was still alive and wet enough to weigh about five to six hundred pounds…tilting that up on end and over was just fun.

when it was all said and done, we reduced about a forty foot high tree with significant house-threatening (and fence-threatening) spreadage to a two foot stump. perfect for the leprechaun to perch on as he tells me what to do…

2 comments… add one
  • Shane Nov 16, 2015 @ 23:30

    I still liked my idea on what you should have done with that car better….

  • sean M Nov 18, 2015 @ 8:02

    refresh my memory on that one, shane – i’ve had a bit of the creature since then…

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