hump ’em if you got ’em (no, not really – it’s a way back wednesday bit)

hard to believe thirteen years ago i was talking to major appliances…

…seriously, probably not too big a surprise:

10/21/2002: “i’m not even THIS lazy…”

i’m a guy. i’m in that oh-so-crucial 18-34 age group. i’m white. (no, really). and i own my own home AND have a college degree. what you can see here should make me dick-hard-happy. and i think it’s almost SAD that we’ve progressed / regressed this far. and of course, i saw it at fry’s. great. we ALL know how i feel about THIS place, right?

i THOUGHT it was gonna be a good fry’s visit…for the first time ever. i just don’t typically like that place; they make EVERYTHING a lot more complicated than it needs to be. but i’ve been on this quest to get a new headset for my mobile phone and it has NOT been going well. i was tired of the one i had (a bit big and bulky, to be honest) and had tried the other attachment on the one i had that just didn’t cut it, and reminded me of why i hadn’t used it in the first place. then i went and bought a jabra one from verizon, which came with SIX different “ear gels”…one for either ear in one of three sizes. no dice. the small wasn’t even considered (NOTHING about me is small), the medium was a bit too small, and the large a bit too large, so i had to return it. walked out with a plantronics one (my favorite brand of headset for phones….learned about them from kramer) and that one just didn’t work for me, either. so today, i tried one more plantronics one (my original one was that brand as well) and eureka, i think i’m cool with this one. at least it works for me, but i have yet to talk to anyone except work on it, so we’ll see. but at least the quest appears to be over, which i thought would make for a good fry’s visit…the work purchase, however, was a whole different ball of wax.

and then came this.

what the fuck? who on earth needs a refrigerator that can download net porn? or play digital music through the attached speakers? at least the guy at fry’s was wrong about one thing…see, the bitch has a digital camera on the outside of it so you can take digital pics in your kitchen (keep in mind, you DO prepare food in there…wipe down the counters accordingly), but it doesn’t have one on the inside that feeds the monitors, which i see as a good thing (he said it did). i thought you could actually see the contents of your fridge without having to open the door…that is just TOO damn lazy. but you CAN record audio / video memos on it to leave for your loved ones / room mates / the idiot you fucked the night before and forgot to kick out of your house before you left for work…the demo at fry’s now has me, looking you dead in the eye, and pointing at you in an accusing way…the audio is the following…

“if you are seriously considering buying a $6500 refrigerator, you have TOO much damn money. go buy a car for your kid…or put a poor kid through a year of college. you can keep your food cold for MUCH less than this…and don’t you have toys around your house that will do this for you anyway?”

okay, so they’ve probably erased it by now…

the only person i could see this REALLY benefiting is the guy at fry’s. i mean, think about it…he’s stuck in appliances. no computers to slap porn on, no music from the stereo demos, no tv to watch. just washers and dryers and fridges….oh MY!!! that just HAS to suck. but now he’s got his dvd player hooked to the mega-fridge so he could sit and watch rush hour II today. pretty cool. of course, he was bragging to me that the NEXT wave of these behemoths is gonna have it’s OWN dvd player. great. one guy (sorry, i don’t know where he lives, ladies) commented, “yeah…but now the wife can’t bitch if i make her stay in the kitchen all the time, right?” okay, first off, you are just sad for the statement. secondly, no guy who could afford this would think that way. and third, most who COULD afford it, would have a cook. i mean, $6500 for a damn refrigerator? and this was the MARKDOWN price…hadn’t mentioned that, had i? it WAS $8K. just plain sad…

0 comments… add one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *