delivery right to your d’oh!

this was supposed to be titled “thirsty thursday throw down” talking about how some of our texan dreams had come true!

but it was not to be…

i’m a member of a few different facebook groups – some work related, some frustrating (discussion board, my ass! y’all just bitch about restaurants!), and some pretty dormant – including “there’d be a lot less drunk driving in texas if whataburger delivered” or something to that effect.

which is a valid point.

for all that don’t know, texas-based burger chain “whataburger” is somewhat of an institution to those of us from here. and they’re open twenty-four seven, which means even when you’re fucked up in a town you don’t really know (or don’t really know how you got there, as the case may be) late night munchies could be had – but you gotta go to THEM. which in some instances puts the public at a bit of a risk…but so it goes for that late night green chile double craving, right?

so imagine my giddiness when i saw an article about whataburger trying out delivery in dallas – a mere three hours up the road. “oh, this could be awesome”, i thought. “there goes my fucking diet plans”, i thought. but not so much – when you get into the article it talks about a delivery service that will go to whataburger for you and pick it up. sure, it’s KINDA the same thing, but a bit more expensive and you’re not actually ordering from the restaurant, you’re ordering through a food service…

…and that’s anything but new. austin has had that shit for years. fuck, i even know some of their drivers. the “sister” article about taco bell “testing out delivery” in the dallas area proved to be about the exact same delivery service.

so way to tease me, dallas morning news…i went to your site thinking i’d get by whataburger delivery bit, saw the taco bell click over and thought i had a BETTER bit (another working title of this was “drunkards and stoners unite – on the couch!”) and it turns out to be about a food delivery service that goes to the restaurant for you, telling me that in the summer of 2015 the lazy fat fucks of the metroplex finally caught up with the lazy fat fucks of austin, circa 2003 or so. i’m hardly proud of you…