and i didn’t even shoot hairspray in my spine

it’s a super cheap way to party, when you’re trying to kill some brain cells and some time…

…okay, enough with the odd squidbillies references.

i wish i hadn’t overheard a conversation between my mom and grandmother when i was a kid, although i don’t know if it would have made a difference. see, i overheard her talking about how broke we were, and how she wasn’t sure how we’d make it, etc, etc. we did, of course, and without having to cook meth or anything. but soon after i was running through the field between two schools and i twisted the shit out of my back. the ground was really dry, and when it got dry the dirt got these huge, deep cracks in them, and one was just large enough to swallow my foot as i ran. normally this led to ankle injuries, but me being me my ankles held up fine – i just fucked up my back…


as a kid i only had cartoon anatomy to go off, so in my mind what i had done was broke one of my ribs off from where it met my spine and it was now sharp, jagged, and stabbing at my internal organs because…well…that’s what it pretty much felt like. what was sad was this was two days before field day and i was on my class’s relay team. i had been practicing like a motherfucker and could actually run pretty fast; but thanks to my newly acquired spinal issue i instead ran like a gimped out three legged dog and we came in eighth out of eighth. that was a brown ribbon. to me that said “you guys are shit, so have the shit brown ribbon”. the other guys on the team were pissed at me. it took almost the whole summer break to feel normal again and i thought all was well…

…until it acted up again. and has several times since.

the most recent was last week right before i did the back brake job on the car, but i still did the job and all went well (albeit slower) and at the end i felt a lot better. after my shower even better. then the forty-five minute commute to the shop took me back a notch. going to bed made it all the unhappier. it’s now been almost a week, and i’m just starting to feel a bit better, thanks to the foam rollers in the yoga room at the gym. but all weekend was touch and go.

and that sucks.

it seems i can keep it at bay by working my lower back in the gym, so i guess i’ll do that and try and prevent another flair up. as i’m getting older (yeah, i said it – we all are) it seems like it’s more common. happened back in summer of 2007, triggered by me reaching down to plug in an iPod in my computer at dell. again in spring of 2010 at the gym, and now in 2015 reaching down to unlatch the hood of the car. didn’t stop my seanteenth from being fun, but it needs to go away. hell, shouldn’t we have robot spines by now?

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