ain’t nobody got time for that

i know i’ve gone off about this once or twice…

…but with all sincerity, we seriously need to get the fuck rid of paper checks.

they serve no purpose.

in this day and age of electronics they have no place. i think they are, at their essence, exactly what jerry seinfeld said they were back in a 1990’s routing…an apology note. it’s you saying, “hey, i forgot to bring my money, but get ahold of these people, and they’ll give you this much of what i have…and i’ll sign it so they know it’s legit.”

total bullshit.

i went to the store today, and two people ahead of me was an older lady who wrote a check…first off, she waited till all was rung up, in bags, and being put in her cart to do it – awfully presumptuous on behalf of the store if you ask me…she coulda run for it. oh, shit, who am i kidding – she hasn’t physically ran since carter ran politically. but in the time it took her to write a check three people at the registers on either side of us rang up, all with cards…more than likely CHECK cards.

when i finally got out of there (four items – three minutes through the store, TEN at the fucking register) it ended up she was parked next to me. i had to ask…

“ma’am, why don’t you just get a check card off your bank account?”
oh, i have one…
“then why don’t you use it?”, i replied, trying not to bite my lip to the point of drawing blood.
i’m not sure i trust it – but you can trust the security of checks ’cause you have to sign them”
“so, it’s safer to have a piece of paper with your account and routing number floating around?”, i asked.
(she chuckles) no, dear, you don’t write that info down…just the amount and date, and sign it
“i know that”, i added, “but those numbers on the BOTTOM of your check? account and routing…on paper…”

all the color left her face as she realized this…surprisingly this had never occurred to her.

“you’re right”, i finished, “MUCH more secure!”

converting the baby boomer generation to our way of doing shit…one at a time.