iphone vomit

so, once again, i was cleaning out pics on the ol’ iPhone six and came up with a sixer of pics i wanted to do bits on, but never did…

do the math on this shit…that’s THIRTEEN YEARS AWAY! sure you’ll still be in lockhart? sure she won’t get knocked up? be a genius and graduate early? bail out to follow lil’ wayne on tour? how the fuck do you know she’ll reach the goal line here?

the extra humor here was the pic was taken the day of our wedding, as i rolled through lockhart to get me & oz food before we headed out, and i see this blazer with primer spray-painted on it that says “LEAVE [blobs where named used to be] ALONE”. shit, hope they did!

talk about close – i mean, i whipped her ass later, but to be beat out in a race by a THOUSANDTH of a second? at least i knew the car didn’t need any more upgrades and it was all me, right? i was addicted to this game, but then finished it…shit, it’s the reason i didn’t sell my iphone five, sadly…’cause i’d have lost all the cars on there!

so i thought this was photoshop because, despite the “LIFE” magazine watermark i actually pulled it off a “fifty photos from the past you won’t believe are real” and i kinda don’t…but if this shit was legit and still around in offices i would probably still be at dell and be too drunk to care…

as most of you know i used to produce the radio show hosted by gibby haynes from the butthole surfers – you KNOW you’re famous when the simpsons bring you up randomly in an episode…and this aired in december of 1996, about a year after we ended the show.

and finally…

this was a fake flyer i did for the shop…before it was ours it belonged to another tattoo “chain” here in austin (it was the last remaining when we bought it) and back in it’s hey day was located between a jack shack (avalon executive retreat, for anybody curious) and a shitty liquor store. harold loved that it was “liquor store – tattoo shop – whore house”. alas, avalon fell first (police intervention?) and then went the liquor store, but avalon has now been replaced by a korean “massage” establishment (you damn well know why it’s in quotes) so i made this as a joke flyer to give them to drum up business…