and here i thought i now looked all conservative and shit…
…but, apparently not.
my first saturday back at work was remarkably slow, which sucks ’cause i work a fourteen hour shift. this meant that early in the evening extra sugar and caffeine weren’t luxury items – they were survival necessities. me and my pal ronny walked up to walgreens to take care of this while there was a break in the rain, which was pretty heavy that day (the reason i basically paid to be at work that day, i reckon).
i grab my shit (as in snacks, not my crotch) and pay, but in doing so notice i have quite a few singles, and with a money clip that’s just kind of annoying, so i ask the clerk if i can buy a twenty off her.
“ummmmm….we don’t….um…do that…here”, i get in response.
i look at her confused. “seriously?”, i respond.
“seriously”, she replies, “it’s completely against corporate policy”.
“so let me get this straight”, i continue, “if i want to give you ten ones and two fives for a twenty that’s against corporate policy?!?”
“OH SHIT!”, she exclaimed (apparently profanity in front of complete strangers isn’t against corporate policy?), “i thought you were asking me for a sack of dope or weed or something!!!” and she takes my money and hands me a twenty dollar bill.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?”, i reply (hey – she started it), and then i follow with a hushed-up “you holding?”
she just smiled and told me to be well…and then we met at the dumpster out back and smoked a grape-flavored blunt together.
okay, so i might have made up that very last part…the rest is totally true.