i guess our gym now has a “jump to conclusions” mat?

it’s amazing what being dehydrated can do…

…cause all sorts of health issues, all sorts of erotic behavior, and occasionally almost get you into a fight.

allow me to explain:

i was working out last night at gold’s gym next to two guys that appeared to be of middle eastern decent, but were clearly more modernized from the neck down. both had their share of semi-quality ink, both were in modern work out dress, and one of them even had a mohawk – but then they both had really bushy, very “randomly selected at the air port” looking beards. i throw that last part in for comic effect, and it will make a lot more sense in a second.

i saw them approaching the water fountain at the same time as me, and they motioned for me to go first…after i took a drink i let them go before i went after a second (i feel that’s just common courtesy if you’re gonna take two or three and pause in between) and kinda gesturing at their beards said, “i just don’t get how y’all survive”.

but that was all i got out and it was my turn to drink again…and as i bent down to do so the guy who HADN’T been drinking and who had fully heard my statement started going off:

“as muslims beards are part of our heritage – i know a lot of you white boys have issue with us, seeing us all as terrorists, thinking we all need to leave this country, but while i’m proud to be an american, as i was born in houston, i’m proud to be a MUSLIM american, so while my dress and tattoos show where i was born and raised, choosing to grow out my beard is an homage to my heritage and i’m sick of you guys, just ’cause you’re in the military and have seen the worst my people can do, assuming that we all act and feel as radically and foolishly…”

his cousin (i later found out) was flabbergasted at his tirade, and asked why he said it, so he repeated what i had said to him, to which i added, “and by that i meant rock full beards in 109 degree heat with 90% humidity – this weather kills me and i was born here!”.

ever seen a guy blush through a beard? i have now…

…i went on to explain that i have a painting of an arabic man FROM a saudi street bazaar hanging in my office as a tribute to his culture because it reflected the way my grandparents felt about his people, that they were calm and reflective and wonderful and not as they would later be seen by americans and our media in particular. and that i had never been in the military.

then we all had a nice workout. going forward i know to take that second drink if i need to get out that second sentence…