do a little dance, take a little dump, get down tonight!

i have some pretty fucked up friends…

…which is not me saying they’re intoxicated at any given point. okay, for some of them that fits, too. but in this case it’s more a mental thing – but a fun, playful, mental thing in this case.

so a friend called the other day from across the state line. i’m not going to call this person out by naME or anything, but i was called in to settle an argument between she and her husband. while the premise of it is almost beyond ridiculous, it got me wondering if anybody actually DID what she was asking about, so i figured i would put it out here. even if none of my readers do this, maybe somebody will google it wondering if they’re weird (what? am i the only one who does that with some of my quirkier habits?) and see that they’re not alone, at least in the since that somebody else conceived this as a possible “thing”, regardless of how insane it might sound.

so here was her question – since guys pee standing up, if they’re seated taking a crap, do they stand up to pee while doing so or just pee sitting down?

her vote was that we DID. that we would actually stand up from taking a crap, about face, HOPEFULLY put the seat up, pee, then sit back down. i explained to her that little dance was giving us a bit TOO much coordination credit and that i always stayed seated for the duration of the performance – i had no interest in doing that little jig nor did i want to lose my place with whatever article i was reading at the time, but that if i had stood thinking i was done, then realized i still needed to pee, i’d kick up the seat and handle that standing before cleaning up and leaving.

she said that didn’t count.

so, does anybody do this obscure stand ‘n spin move? or does this only exist in the somewhat spooky place that is this loyal reader’s mind?

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