you down with e.s.d.? hell no, not me…at least not yet

at least, i’m not down as of now…

…to be honest, i consider it kind of a pathetic bastardization of a federal statute, and i bet i know how it started.

there’s always one – and they usually have no life, and a fuck-load of time on their hands, and they bring it up during sweeps when new stations need ratings, and then stupid laws get on the books. like that first fat person who, red and sweaty and panting, walks past a paraplegic lifting themselves into their wheelchair in that cushy handicapped space mere feet from the door. “this is bullshit”, they think, “i have issues waddling up to the door because of my weight, why can’t I park all close and shit?!?”

and the handicapped parking for fat fuckers was born.

likewise, i think similar bullshit jealousy sparked what i dealt with today – a guy walked into the shop with a small yorkshire terrier on a leash, which i gently told him had to leave. he gently he told me he didn’t. why? because he was protected under the americans with disabilities act as a service dog because the dog alleviates his anxiety that he had associated with the tattoo procedure. he then handed me the dogs “service dog i.d. card” as proof, so i got a copy of it so i could look some stuff up…

…and it’s kind of bullshit.

there are no end to websites that will tell you that ANY dog, with ZERO training, qualifies as an “emotional support animal” and is therefore “protected under federal law” – but according to my research, not so much. what i found interesting is there is no website that will tell you your dog qualifies for all this federally condoned wonder blessing (can fly with you for free, live in any apartment regardless of pet restrictions (i.e. i can take budnik where pitbulls aren’t allowed to live if he’s registered as my support animal) that doesn’t also SELL you the cards / certificates they issues independently stating your dog is a registered service animal. even “” who sounds all non-profit and official suddenly wants between $76 and $155 to register your animal. why? because it’s not a real government thing. if you look up all the ADA stuff, or even the stuff on the state of texas website, there is ZERO mention of this being a legal certification – but just like the fat fuck got jealous of the crippled guy, likewise some lonely fuck got pissed the blind guy could take his dog to the mall but he couldn’t – so now we have this…

…and it’s kind of bullshit.

i let it slide ’cause our boss via phone said it was okay (more than likely because his four pound chihuahua has a similar certification because, for reasons i don’t get, the airlines allow said dogs to fly for free and the certification cost (one time fee) beat paying for a dog that ways less than my balls to fly to and from hims mom’s up north…

…so “a dog that makes me happy” is legally allowed to fly for free, but a half bottle of dandruff shampoo is a threat to national security? yeah, this planet needs to hit the reset button SOON.

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